You know that you and me..

I've heard this question asked a hundred, nay a thousand times.

"Why aren't you seriously seeing anyone?"

Simple. I'm really not into commitment(s) right now. One of my exes told me a couple of weeks ago that I'm too difficult, that my expectations are unreal.

"You're wrong," I told her. "My expectations are very real indeed. What's so difficult about finding someone you're actually in love with?"

She scoffed and told me that it was difficult to find someone to love if i wasn't willing to put in the time to love her in return. She was - quite obviously - right.

I dated her for a couple of months. Broke up with her and saw her again for another two. She's definitely not a big fan.

I'm so involved with what i'm doing right now that i can't even bother to call the girl that i'm seeing right now. I keep telling her that i'd call, but more often than not my days aren't cheery enough to even talk to anyone. I think we're not seeing each other anymore, or maybe we are.

I can't be bothered really.

I'm really, really difficult. If i really like you, i'd put in the effort and when my life kicks into overdrive, i've forgotten all about the promises i've made. If i've hurt any of you in this manner, i'd really like to apologize. Besides, it's Raya. Apologies really do count during Raya.

But...in my defense, i'm far from bitter. it's just that i'm in very fast paced part of my life right now. I'm surrounded by the people that i love and i know that i've got a lot to give in return.

But a relationship is a lot of work. And whenever they don't work, it takes up a lot of my time just to mend something that shouldn't have broken in the first place - my heart.

So, you know that you and me could be something truly special.

But the time is just not quite...right.

Yet.