L'été Abstrait

Tumbling Down The Rabbit Hole

2008-06-25T13:34:00.003+08:00

It's been quite a long time since i've last penned anything on this blog. It's simple really; since my day job involves a hefty amount of writing, blogging no longer seemed like a hobby. Like a moth to a flame - only i'm neither - I'm constantly drawn to things which provide neither solace nor redemption. I feel like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole. Or Neo, naked in a gooey tank waiting to be clamped by Morpheus and the Nebuchadnezzar.

A wise writer once said, 'If life was easy, there would be no point in living, as I would have learnt nothing at all.'

I used to believe that. I understood that life - and its many trials and tribulations - is like a theme park ride which you have no control over. It starts before you know it and just before you realize you're having fun - it's over all too soon.

A lot of people use their private spaces with which to vent their anger and frustrations. I have neither. Inside me, is a cauldron of mixed emotions intermingled against a smorgasbord of confused innuendos and grief. I'm not complaining here. I'm not even venting. I'm just...saying.

Don't get me wrong. I'm thankful for a lot of things in my life. It's just, sometimes i wish i could paint the world with my thoughts. I could paint it blue for the days when i'm feeling especially cheerful (yes, blue isn't a color of depression for me) and red when i'm feeling vulgar and frustrated. As i pass by my daily routes i would dab bits of these colors in hopes that someone out there, would share the same expression as I. Because, like Alice..

We're all in Wonderland. And we're still tumbling.

I wear a 'Love Me' T-Shirt.

2007-03-04T13:31:00.000+08:00

I wrote this piece a long time ago. I actually don't remember who i was referring to - if was referring to anyone at all for that matter - therefore i would rather call it a period read. Enjoy.

Sometimes it’s pretty hard to fight for something that was never yours to begin with. It’s a fight that you know you can win, but the glory of victory is a hollow one – a battle forged for a war that has not yet been waged. The battle I’m talking about is love, and one that is fought with our very souls.

The truth? Love is the glory of God. A gift from the heavens above; as a piece of solace in this tumultuous ride we call life. But what if the love that you feel is towards someone who you never should’ve fallen for?

What then? Do you blind an eye to the love that you feel? Or silence the thought in your head and enlighten the person you’re in love with, that in truth, she’s the only one you’ve ever truly felt for.

That she’s the one you think about when you listen to a moving loving song or the last face that you wish for before you fall asleep at night. Your heart beats a lone beat, and your dreams caress you to a field of thoughts where your emotions are allowed to roam free. Free to believe and love as you please.

In your dreams, she is yours and yours alone. And everything is as it should be.

But irony is a bitter aftertaste. Why has it been that the people that you inevitably fall for happen to be in love with someone else?

Sometimes you’re the one who’s in love with someone else, but you’re truly blind to the ones who are – or were - in love with you.

No love is enough for us.

I lost my password.

2007-03-04T13:27:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the long absence. I actually forgot what my password was.

But worry not, for i have tons of backlogged stories to tell.

So keep yourselves peeled. I think.

Scent of A Woman

2007-01-19T08:13:00.000+08:00

I never realized how a single scent could literally send you over the moon - until tonight.

My shirt, car and now room is lightly scented in a very feminine manner. But the lady who did this to me is nowhere near my room. In fact she's miles away - literally.

Perfumes do this to you. Never, ever, overdo it; regardless of your sex.

It just sticks to you; an intoxicating, entirely all consuming sense of smell that over an extended period of time, warps into a seductive sense of taste as well.

Now i'm off to bed smelling like a street peddling transvestite.

It wouldn't be such a big problem if not for the fact that i'm growing quite fond of this chokingly sweet scent.

I wonder if the reverse is true for girls? Who am I kidding.

I'm sure it is.

trueism

2006-12-24T12:56:00.000+08:00

We all imagine ourselves as the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice on when we rise... or when we fall? Or does a force much larger than ourselves bid us our direction? Is it evolution that guides our hands? Does science point our way? Or is it God that intervenes, keeping us safe?

While it's been way too long since i've last posted anything of value up here, i'm sure you all would clearly understand why.

Just as stark as the winds which are so callously storming through our fair nation continues to rage on; the same transcending emotion cascades through my very lifeblood.

You keep hoping that you have some control over the very life that you lead. You believe that with every passing moment, another will pass in just the same manner; deliberately and ultimately decidedly.

Yet you know that for every single opportunity that life gives you, there comes a reasonably high and altogether unfallible price tag. Like a bill with no payment date on it, the day of retribution will come...and, more disturbingly, without warning.

Like karma, the good you do in life will return in similar if not equal providence to you and/or your family. And whatever bad that you have done, will have equal if not increased retribution.

So we pass through life hoping that all we've ever done is good, and pray that whatever evils we may have transgressed on other passing souls have or at least will have been forgiven.

But what if it isn't? I still have mountains of anger pent up inside of me. Therefore i should only gather that the same amount of hate or spite is nesting in some other hapless individuals out there.

Emotions are queer. You may love someone today..and hate them tomorrow. You may praise him today, but damn him to hell the next.

Over the past year, i've seen them all: love, hate, spite, forgiveness, hatred, fear, greatfulness - you name it. I've shut half of my friends away because for the first time in 24 years, i don't have the courage the deal with my emotions. At least..not for this year.

So, with 2007 fast approaching, i can only hope - and pray - that my emotions for next year will be manageable..and i hope that most of you who i have so shamefully discarded this year will find it in your heart of hearts to..forgive me.

I am human after all.

Girls Next Door

2006-11-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

HUGH HEFNER HAS THREE GIRLFRIENDS. They're all blond, beautiful and nearly a third of his age. (He's 80 next year). They all live at the Playboy Mansion and recently became the subject of a television reality series. Lucy Broadbent met them all.

Holly Madison breezes into the mahogany inlaid library at the Playboy mansion. She's a vision of laddish fantasy - platinum blond hair, so brassy it lights up the room, a surgically enhanced cleavage, a teasing hemline, pouting lips and endless legs that plunge into six inch spiky
heels.

Her appearance wouldn't be so remarkable - this is Beverly Hills afterall - except that Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson look the same. Enough for the standing joke between them to be that they come from a blonde cloning laboratory. And all three of them happen to be the live-in girlfriends of the same man.

And even that wouldn't be so extraordinary - except that the man they all share happens to be 79 years old, which is more than all their ages combined, has suffered a stroke and is going deaf.

"Heff says he's going through his blonde period," Holly, 25, explains as she pulls her fuschia pink dress down to cover much exposed thighs and leans back into a leather sofa. "You know, like Picasso had a blue period."

Hugh Heffner, the publishing tycoon who founded Playboy magazine and is credited with fomenting the sexual revolution of the sixties, has always been a controversial figure. Today he is still making headlines. For the last seven years he has lived with a fluctuating tide of live-in girlfriends - at one point, he had seven. Now he's down to three and recently allowed the reality tv cameras inside the mansion doors to view his alternative lifestyle which might not contain as many expletives as The Osbournes, but is just as compelling.

"Heff's age never bothered me, but all the other girlfriends did," says Holly, who is from Alaska and met Heffner at one of his own parties at the mansion four and a half years ago. Heff, as he likes to be known, was already dating seven others at the time, but found there was enough room in his heart for another and invited her out .

"He's really crush-worthy because he's very confident and he has lots of sex appeal. I really liked him, but I had reservations because of all the other girls. I'm not used to sharing a guy. But when we went out, I danced all night and there were all his girlfriends there and it was
just really fun."

Heffner was breaking up with his number one girlfriend, Tina, at that time. "There has always been a hierarchy among Heff's girlfriends," Holly explains. "There has always been a main girlfriend that shared Heff's room and was in charge of the group. Tina and I became friends.

She was breaking up with Heff because she already had a daughter and she wanted a more traditional life. She was really happy that someone had come along that really cared about Heff. So I just jumped over the six other girls into the number one slot. Heff and I fell in love right away."

Holly has been Heff's main squeeze ever since. And, suggesting some intense political maneuvering, not to mention a few catfights, it wasn't long before the other six girls moved on and Holly recruited new girls. "There's a danger for Heff," Holly explains matter-of-factly. "Because sometimes girls come along and they are just interested in the money or they want to be in the magazine. When Heff and I got together he would see girls and I'd have to say I think her interests lie in areas that might not be the best for you. He'd get mad at me, but now he sees I've always been right. We have a good group of girls now."

Bridget nods her head. Bridget was Holly's first recruit, and has been Heff's number two girlfriend for the last three and a half years. Together, both girls then found Kendra, girlfriend number three. "Heff thinks he found Kendra. But Holly and I know better," says Bridget, who is from a rural area in northern California and finishes most sentences with a giggle. "We knew Heff was interested in her, so we just gave her a few tips. We told her things like what to wear. She was invited to Casablanca Night here. That's a night where we all dress up formal. If she'd turned up in a hoochy outfit, you know a two inch skirt and bra top, she wouldn't have fitted in. So we lent her clothes so that in Heff's eyes, she was dressing appropriately."

Since Heffner still handpicks all the Playboy models, he has has an inexhaustible supply of young women to invite out on dates. There are also parties at the mansion every week. Girls throw themselves at him, according to Holly. What is noticeably striking about the girls is their willing acceptance of their position within the group. "Holly is Heff's main girl, and Kendra and I are the icing on the cake," Bridget explains happily, running her perfectly manicured fingernails through her hair. "And Holly is my friend, and I, one hundred percent, respect that relationship."

None of them are allowed other boyfriends, but all insist they don't want them. And rather like soccer players, they seem to relish the team aspect of their menage. "Bridget is the party animal," Holly explains. "She loves to plan things, loves holidays and adds a lot to the group in that respect. "Bridget is the wild one, she's very athletic, loves to have a good time. She's immature, but that's a good thing because everybody bounces everybody out. I'm kind of like the mum of the group. I'm the responsible one that makes sure everybody is here on time. I make sure Heff has everything he needs."

At thirty-one, Bridget is possibly reaching her sell-by date. Heff's girlfriends are rarely older than thirty. "Heff told me the other day he thought I looked more attractive now than I ever have before, so I'm not worried," she says. "But I think I am over the age limit already."

Like Holly, Bridget and Kendra met Heff at one of his parties. Bridget's dream was always to become a Playmate (one of the girls who pose topless in the magazine). In an attempt to get noticed, she moved to Los Angeles and got herself invited to one of the Mansion parties. "I wanted to be a Playmate so bad. I remember looking at my Dad's Playboy magazines when I was a little girl and not seeing the nudity, but just thinking I want to look like that when I grow up. Those women were so beautiful," she says wistfully. "It never occurred to me to be a girlfriend. But one night after the party, Heff phones me and asks me out.

"At first I thought it was a joke. I mean Hugh Heffner calling me on my phone? But I said no because there were a lot of sexual rumors about all the shenanigans that go on in the limo and back at the house, rumors about girls doing different things with Heff. I just wanted to be a
Playmate.

"But then I started thinking surely no one is going to push me into something I don't want to do. So I went, and it wasn't this big scary sexual orgy. It was just girls being crazy, flashing their boobs and having a good time, and it was really fun. And the rest is history. I haven't made it as a Playmate yet, but I've been around ever since."

Life at the mansion is comfortable for the girls. With its swimming pool, aviary, famous grotto where Frank Sinatra once romped after dark, vast gardens, and plush rooms, the place is one of the most extravagant properties in Beverly Hills and is clearly something of a rise up the food chain for all three girls, each one of whom is from a poor working class background - Holly and Bridget were both raised in a trailer. All the girls have their own room, get an allowance of $1000 a week and free reign to spend as much as they want at the hairdressers and the beauty salons. There's a five star chef in the kitchen, an array of butlers and waiting staff and at Christmas there are rows of giant garbage bags filled with presents for them.

During the day they are free to do as they please - Holly is studying to be a real estate agent, Bridget to be a tv broadcaster and Kendra to be a masseuse. But most evenings the girls are expected to come out and sparkle alongside Heff, and since Heff is a creature of habit, the week follows a regimented routine. "Monday nights is 'Manly night' when Heff's guy friends come over and we get the night off," Bridget explains, adding that the girls agree to a curfew. If they go out on their own, they have to be home by 10pm.

"Tuesday nights we go out to a restaurant together, Wednesday night is Gin night. Heff likes to play Gin Rummy with the guys. Thursday night we go to clubs. Friday, Saturday and Sundaywe have a buffet dinner here and all Heff's friends are invited and we watch movies together. Heff's a real movie buff."

The girls paint a picture of almost cosy domestic bliss. Jealousy doesn't appear to be an issue for any of them - nor marriage. Not least because Heffner is technically still married to his second wife, Kimberley, with whom he has two sons, Marston, 15, and Cooper, 14, all of whom live, on friendly terms, in the house next door to the mansion.

Only Kendra complains that life in a menage-a-quatre isn't all a bed of roses. "It's hard to be ladylike all the time," says the 19 year old, from San Diego, who is the least articulate of all three. "I'm expected to be ladylike and that's not really who I am. I'm more of a tomboy. I
love drinking beer and watching football. I'd wear sweatpants and sneakers 24/7 if I could. I hate wearing make up. I hate going to the hair salon..... but I would rather be ladylike and get my hair and nails down than do a normal job like flipping pizza."

So she sees it as a job? "Everything is a job in life, isn't it?" she says flatly.

In spite of such an admission, it appears that the girls are genuinely fond of Heff. They talk about his charisma, his sex appeal, his joie de vivre. Holly even has the Playboy rabbitsymbol tattoed on the small of her back. Holly in particular, confesses somewhat sadly, that although
she couldn't ever see it ever happening, she would in her heart love to be married to him and can't bear to think of a time when he might no longer be around. They have nicknames for each other: she calls him Puffin, he calls her Muffin.

The billion dollar question that all three of the girls studiously avoid is once the partying is over, where does everyone sleep? Does Heff, who has made no secret of his love of Viagra, live out every man's fantasy every night? "Holly shares a bed with Heff. Kendra has her own room and I have my own room," Bridget explains. "But we do a lot of stuff in Heff's room. We all snuggle up and watch movies together, we order food in there. We do a lot in there. As far as sex goes, I don't kiss and tell. "

Wearing his trademark smoking jacket, and most certainly looking younger than his 79 years, Heffner himself wanders into the library. Good timing. The girls kiss him affectionately in turn. "Do I have sex with all these girls? Yes, I do." he says, laughing loudly. Separately or all together? "Both," he says and laughs some more. "The girls keep me young."

Like one of the boastful peacocks that roam in the grounds of the Mansion, Heffner delights in talking about his living arrangements. "I think I'm the luckiest cat on the planet," he says jovially. "The way I see it, is if you are a single person, it's not unusual to be dating more than one person. The only thing that's different here is instead of seeing a different girl on each night of the week, I see all of them at the same time, which takes away the subterfuge, the hypocrisy and the lying.

"And what's interesting is the girls like it. One of the things that makes this very attractive to other women is that we're having such a good time. Girls like the company of other girls. It's like an ongoing party. Its much more fun going out dancing or to a restaurant or a show with a little coterie of your friends.

"I could never have imagined that I would find this happiness in this last chapter of my life. I thought when my last marriage ended seven or eight years ago, that was it. But to have this final chapter, it's incredible. Without question these are the happiest days of my life."

He is convincing enough to suggest a happy ever after. And none of the girls will say otherwise. "Heff keeps all of us happy," chimes Holly. "It takes a special man to be able to do that."

Thanks to Lucy Broadbent from Planet Syndication for the Article.

Mortality

2006-11-11T19:02:00.000+08:00

No matter how much you try to smother the smell, it's still overwhelmingly present.
It doesn't matter if you smog the hall with Starbucks' latest brew - there's no way in hell that sickly sterile smell is ever going to go away.

As I sat there in the dreary lobby - on one of the most back breakingly hard chairs ever made by man - I stared silently into space. I shifted my body slightly in an attempt to physically distance myself from the growing sadness that's surfacing from below. I turned to look at my friend and instantly shared his pain.

There's no hiding that he's been crying on all night; his saggy eyes and lethargic actions are a stark giveaway. I try and reason things out for him, but I know that deep down inside, it's a futile attempt.

Neither one of us knows how or what the outcome will be.

It was only then did i realize that this place was never meant to be a place of comfort. The feel, look and touch of the place is unitary in its purpose; to sober its denizens up. That's what hospitals are good at. Making you realize your own mortality and how little control we have over it.

An hour and half passed before I came back to where I started. As I walked out of the elevator I gave my friend a heartful tap on the shoulder.

"Hang in there," was all the came out from my mouth. I wanted to say words of encouragement, but there was none to give. I was as emotionally drained as he was.

May he go through this trial with all the strength that he can muster.

And if you know who I'm talking about please give him a call, keep him company or at the very least show your concern.

It really is his time of need.

You know that you and me..

2006-10-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

I've heard this question asked a hundred, nay a thousand times.

"Why aren't you seriously seeing anyone?"

Simple. I'm really not into commitment(s) right now. One of my exes told me a couple of weeks ago that I'm too difficult, that my expectations are unreal.

"You're wrong," I told her. "My expectations are very real indeed. What's so difficult about finding someone you're actually in love with?"

She scoffed and told me that it was difficult to find someone to love if i wasn't willing to put in the time to love her in return. She was - quite obviously - right.

I dated her for a couple of months. Broke up with her and saw her again for another two. She's definitely not a big fan.

I'm so involved with what i'm doing right now that i can't even bother to call the girl that i'm seeing right now. I keep telling her that i'd call, but more often than not my days aren't cheery enough to even talk to anyone. I think we're not seeing each other anymore, or maybe we are.

I can't be bothered really.

I'm really, really difficult. If i really like you, i'd put in the effort and when my life kicks into overdrive, i've forgotten all about the promises i've made. If i've hurt any of you in this manner, i'd really like to apologize. Besides, it's Raya. Apologies really do count during Raya.

But...in my defense, i'm far from bitter. it's just that i'm in very fast paced part of my life right now. I'm surrounded by the people that i love and i know that i've got a lot to give in return.

But a relationship is a lot of work. And whenever they don't work, it takes up a lot of my time just to mend something that shouldn't have broken in the first place - my heart.

So, you know that you and me could be something truly special.

But the time is just not quite...right.

Yet.

Months.

2006-10-07T20:46:00.000+08:00

I've run out of things to say. Sometimes i realize that you only blog when you really don't have anything else better to do.

Sometimes you blog because all you ever do is live, and you really do feel like sharing.

It's about time that I admit to myself that i've not been 'living' my life. I've been too tired, too busy or too damned irritated to drag my ass out and actually do something for a change.

So what do you write when you've run out of things to say? Nothing, i suppose.

I could perhaps share a whole host of photos for all of you to enjoy. (and see if you're actually in them.. lol)

But even that seems a little detached somehow. Yet, i suppose i'll still post them up, especially for those of you without an access to friendster (which i find really hard to believe.)

Eh, by the by... who wants to buka with me?

Back to Melbourne.

2006-09-13T21:37:00.000+08:00

Going back to Melbourne. Nov 17th.

Thanks for the tip Maleik. (you're not going to stop me!)

Wooo hooo!

Telstra Dome here i come!!! Nosebleed tickets!

Twisted Thumb.

2006-09-11T21:54:00.000+08:00

In the past few weeks, i've racked up a fair share of phone numbers. I have no intention of calling any of them. In fact, if we (ie, the boys in the office) were to pool the collection of numbers we have amassed over the past month we'd have our very own mini yellow pages.

For a man, the act of getting a stranger's number is the most natural thing to do. The only issue is actually getting your act together long enough to actually bother going up to her and saying more than just, "Umm."

It's one of the most barbaric ways of showing off our manhood. Aside from flashing our penises in public of course (i'm assuming that's still illegal). The bigger the balls (excuse my language) the bigger the amount of digits you'd end up getting.

The term Big Swinging Dicks came from the mad house that is Wall Street. A street filled with ego filled, testosterone charged boys driving the latest Porsches with the week's hottest flavor sitting snugly in the passenger seat - preferably blonde.

I was at this show a couple of weeks back..and there was this girl that caught my eye. Well mine and three other boys around me. Funny thing was, none of the boys had the courage to go up to her and say hello. They were just physically bashing one another, jousting to see who can say "I'm the man" the loudest.

Realizing that this form of physical torture would probably take up a good couple of hours, i got off my perch and went straight towards her. I said hello (to her surprise), and asked her if she frequented the place often. She said that it was her first time and that the only reason she was here was because the band that was on stage happened to be a family friend.

For an instant our eyes connected and before i could respond she introduced herself. I smiled, gave her my name and told her that this place was too noisy to have a decent conversation. I told her that i'd come back down later when the band was done with their set. I never did.

Why?

Because my thumb got twisted on the way back up the staircase, and it took every last ounce of strength i had to stay properly focused. Plus, I was too engrossed with the conversation i was having with the ice pack.

The last thing i remembered was a mate asking me, "Dude, did you get her name?"

"Yup. And then some."

:)

The Truth About Boys.

2006-09-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

"It's a sick joke," said a friend as he sipped his Coke. "Why do good guys always end up getting hurt?"

I tried rationalizing it, failed, then subsequently tried to generalize it. I tried to make sense of something that; try as I might, bloody well doesn't. Good guys always,always, finish last. It's the rule of the game. And we always end up on the losing side.

Girls (in general) play the game well. Imagine this: You're at a bar, a girl chats you up and asks you to accompany her home. I can say with absolute confidence that she will get you to follow like a dog on a very, very short leash.

Now imagine if the situation were reversed. You'd still be the dog, but dear me, where's that bloody leash gone to? Exactly. It's not a dickey dick world we live in gents. Wake up and smell the bloody tampons (no pun intended).

The truth is, boys are an easy bunch to decipher. We're like apes. We only ever want one thing. Give to us what we want and we'll give you the bloody world. It's really that simple.

Girls on the other hand...well, let's just say that i'd probably ace a bullseye 9 times in a row before i'd even grace the very tip of the feminine condition. It's like doing rocket science, only much harder.

The reality behind it all is simple. Guys who get hurt by girls inadvertantly become the very person(s) that most girls try to avoid. It's like a cycle of sadism. No one wins, but i'm pretty sure almost everyone loses.

Why is it that when a man gives a woman what she wants, ie Commitment, it is the man who gets dumped in the end? Nine times out of Ten, us guys are the ones who get brushed aside after 2,3 maybe even 4 years down the road.

No one wants to get hurt, but in the same respect, no one wants to take the blame.

The Truth about us boys is this;

We want the very same thing you want too.

We're people too. Remember that.

An Idiot's Guide To..Apologies.

2006-08-28T09:12:00.000+08:00

Look, i'm not going to apologize for blogging less. My daily job is to write. And there are days when all i have..is writer's block.

It used to be a pleasure inducing hobby, but now, it's become a chore. I really have nothing to write at all, even if my day(s) were filled with events which were 'blog' worthy. I spent the whole weekend at a seminar that can only be described as a downscaled version of hell, or as someone once mentioned quite aptly to me - Hell's Waiting Room.

Thankfully, I brought along a book. Unfortunately I finished reading the first book after the first seminar ended.

So I brought another book for the second day. Now, this book was so engrossing that I just had to finish it. So i did. Last night at 12pm. It was a 250 page book, and I finished it in a day. Definitely best book I ever read this year. It's called "Ugly Americans" just in case you were wondering.

It's a funny world we live in. You never really catch a break. Everytime you see a glimmer of hope, life gives you a sneak preview. You step gently into the divide, and all of the sudden the world closes up on you. There really never is an 'infinite continue' or 'easy' game option. It's "insert coin" since it's really "fucking hard".

Sometimes you don't know who your friends really are. Finding out that their soul looks a lot bleeker in real life is something that would chill anyone's blood. I found that out the hard way. With skyscrapers and sun piercing heat.

Sooo..hoho.

I've gotta get to work. Clients are waiting, keyboards waiting to be punched and a magazine to be printed.

Cheerio.

Six Places To Nuke When You're Serious

2006-08-13T09:03:00.000+08:00

By Micheal Anissimov

Assuming a 1-megaton nuclear weapon, what are the optimal delivery points to maximize global damage and chaos? We are assuming a 1 megaton bomb due to simplicity - this yield is about twice that of the most powerful fission bomb produced by the US, the Mk 18, which used 60 kg of enriched uranium. With nanofactories, building extremely high-quality centrifuges will become easy, making large quantities of enriched uranium accessible to any organization with uranium ore. We will be able to do with a few centrifuges what previously required hundreds or even thousands.

A few facts about uranium: uranium ore is more common than gold, mercury, silver, or tungsten, and is found in substantial quantities worldwide, including in southern Australia, Africa, and the Middle East. It is the 48th most abundant element in the earth’s crust. Pitchblende uranium (1% pure) is available on eBay for approximately $20/kg. The US Department of Energy has stockpiled 704,000 metric tons of uranium in the form of hexaflourine solids.

In this scenario, it does not really matter who is dropping the bomb. The point is to create as much mayhem as possible. This analysis leans towards detonation targets that do damage to the United States in particular, both because the US has many enemies, and because many countries are economically and politically dependent on a smoothly-functioning US. The attack might be a set-up for a larger operation, occur in the context of a war, or simply be an isolated event. Potential orchestrators of the attack include rogue states like North Korea or Iran, criminal organizations, jihadi organizations, or more sophisticated groups like circles of well-educated and wealthy Americans exploiting abrupt technological transitions to gain power.

In roughly ascending order of severity, the options are:

6. Destroy a large portion of Tehran, Iran.

The Israelis would immediately be blamed, and Iranian troops would likely be dispatched to Israel under half an hour after the event. Many other countries including the EU and the US would get involved, and the result would be a very long and very expensive war. Iran’s GDP is approximately 10x that of Iraq, and if other Muslim countries like Syria, Pakistan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Turkey got involved, the West would be dealing with a fanatic multinational force with plenty of resources. Think of the earth as an egg, and the fault line between Muslim radicalists and Christian radicalists as the breakage formed when the egg is cracked.

5. Nuke Washington, D.C.

When Congress is in session, of course. Although Washington, D.C. is a city of great political significance, it is not a critical economic cog relative to other large global cities. At the very least, every member of Congress would be wiped out, along with thousands of important ambassadors, lobbyists, political thinkers, and of course the Administration. Eliminating Washington, D.C. is not the worst thing a terrorist or rogue country could do, as there have been extensive plans in place since the Cold War for establishing a shadow government in case of this eventuality. It would throw the American people into a frenzy significantly greater than 9-11, however.

4. Destabilize an oceanic shield volcano next to a methane clathrate deposit.

This one is subtle. A couple weeks ago Phil Bowermaster posted about the risks of methane clathrate. Essentially, when this stuff melts, it is 20 times worse than carbon dioxide when it comes to contributing to global warming, and can be found easily in half-kilometer-thick deposits on the ocean floor. There are undersea mountains with precarious peaks that have been slowly destabilizing over thousands of years, and with the right placement, a nuclear blast could start a catastrophic landslide. If the result is as massive as large historic landslides, it could displace more than 100 cubic kilometers of rock, creating a debris trail covering tens of square kilometers. The kinetic energy of the avalanche could melt 40+ cu km of methane clathrate, potentially kickstarting a global warming feedback effect, with all its nasty ramifications. Beneath the methane clathrate is even more methane in gas form.

Fictional expositions of the possible effects of severe global warming can be found in John Barnes’ Mother of Storms and Clive Cusser’s Fire Ice. For the first one, think of four storms like Giant Red Spots constantly raking the earth’s surface for years on end, and for the second, tsunamis followed by complete global climate change. This target is only rated 4th out of 6 because of a relatively low probability that global warming would actually be accelerated all that quickly. If it were successful, however, it might be better placed in 2nd place.

Here is an excerpt from a website on volcanic landslides:

Volcanoes appear to be permanent fixtures on the landscape, but in fact are inherently unstable structures composed of both strong (thick lava flows) and weak (fragmental and hydrothermally altered) materials. Large-scale collapse of volcanic edifices, first witnessed and documented at the start of the 1980 Mount St. Helens eruption, is now known to be a common volcanic process. Large volcanic landslides can occur with volumes exceeding a cubic kilometer at continental volcanoes and several orders of magnitude larger at oceanic shield volcanoes. These collapses can produce extremely mobile debris avalanches that can travel at high velocities in some cases for tens of kilometers beyond the base of a volcano. This process, once thought to be extremely rare, has been documented at hundreds of volcanoes worldwide. Repeated episodes of growth and collapse have occurred at many volcanoes, and large-volume volcanic landslides have been found to be the most common catastrophic destructive process at volcanoes.

3. Nuke New York City, particularly Manhattan.

Here, people are packed so closely that a million casualties from a nuclear attack, even if “only” a 1-megaton nuclear attack, is harrowingly realistic. According to this nuclear weapon effects calculator, the thermal radiation radius (3rd degree burns) of a 1-megaton nuclear blast is ~11.7 km. Calculating the area from the radius gives us 430 square kilometers of people with 3rd degree burns. The blast radius would extend well into adjacent boroughs. A million deaths would wipe out 1/300 of the American population. A more impressive 10-megaton explosion would triple the blast radius. The global psychological and economic effects of such an attack are unknown, but would obviously be very severe.

2. Knock off a chunk of Cumbre Viejo at La Palma in the Canary Islands.

Explosions on mountaintop, rocks into ocean, waves into coast. Walls of water into cities. You get the idea. The wave goes around the globe three full times before it dissipates. Not sure if this one is worse than blowing up Manhattan.

1. Nuke the Yellowstone Caldera.

Hundreds of cubic kilometers of magma at high pressure. A five kilometer cap that limits eruptions to only every million years or so. A well-placed explosion that destroys that cap in the space of a few seconds. A lava plume ten times taller than Mt. Everest, followed by perpetual and global night that lasts for years. This one requires a nuke slightly larger than 1-megatons - 20-megatons ought to be sufficient.

“When a supervolcano goes off, it is an order of magnitude greater than a normal eruption. It produces energy equivalent to an impact with a comet or an asteroid. You can try diverting an asteroid, but there is nothing at all you can do about a supervolcano.” - Dr. Ted Nield

“The eruption will throw out cubic kilometers of rock, ash, dust, sulfur dioxide and so on into the upper atmosphere, where it will reflect incoming solar radiation, forcing down temperatures on the earth’s surface. It would be the equivalent of a nuclear winter. The effects would last for four or five years with crops failing and the whole ecosystem breaking down.” - Robert B. Trombley, Ph.D.

The question is, why would anyone go this far? I can think of many possible motivations, and being psychotic is by no means a necessary prerequisite for wanting to do something like this. There’s this near-universal cultural misapprehension that you have to be crazy to do something horrible. To the contrary. You need only be ambitious, and elitist enough to disregard human lives. The first motivation which comes to mind is the creation of an Aristoi class:

Aristoi comes from ancient Greek and means “the best”. The term was used to describe the noblemen in ancient Greece, those of a status above the common people. Aristoi were members of the aristocracy and regarded as closer to God.

Aristoi is a 1993 science-fiction novel by Walter Jon Williams. The novel describes a technologically advanced society with a rigid hierarchy of social classes. The top class, the “Aristoi,” are given the ultimate responsibility: that of managing nanotechnology.

With the right tech, living conditions of persistent darkness is not difficult at all. I’m not talking tech from hundreds of years into the future, but only a couple decades. When you can be on the surface and everyone else is forced underground, it isn’t hard to start establishing global superiority. And if you establish it really well, it can be preserved indefinitely - in the case of dictators taking advantage of extreme life extension, thousands of years. This sounds like science fiction, but the possibility is very real.

What it feels like to be a girl.

2006-08-07T23:41:00.000+08:00

"Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you ?
What it feels like for a girl?"

This is a snippet of a song sang by Madonna. I heard it on the way to Melaka in a car filled with boys. Yeah. I know it's weird.

I don't really like the song. It's the preamble that caught my ears. A girl with the very sweetest of voices, in a very obvious English accent speaking over a broken beat.

When Madonna starts singing, the song goes back to the beginning. I play it over and over again, wondering if there's any truth to her lyrics.

In very many ways it is. I mean i don't have the need to wear high heels or mini skirts, but it's amazing to see how a girl with a knack for dressing gets away with more than just murder.

Tight tank top, hyper mini skirt. Nice longish legs. And the world's your proverbial oyster.

A girl I know believes that, "all men cheat."

I told her that's gender stereotyping, and it's wrong to assume that all men are alike.

Unfortunately, after a whirlwind weekend and a night filled with girls with impossibly short skirts...I don't know anymore.

I don't know how it feels like to be a girl, but you have one amazing ability.

You could literally freeze hordes of men in their tracks with a gentle swish of your legs.

I don't believe that all men cheat.

But for the few who do...blame the temptress that seduced him just as hard as you would the guy.

Serendipity

2006-07-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

The word serendipity was coined by Horace Walpole 28 January 1754, in a letter he wrote to his friend, Horace Mann, the English resident in Florence.

"I once read a silly fairy tale, called The Three Princes of Serendip: as their highnesses travelled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of: for instance, one of them discovered that a mule blind of the right eye had travelled the same road lately, because the grass was eaten only on the left side, where it was worse than on the right."

I myself have been in a fortunate situation of experiencing some form of serendipity and I have to say, that when it happens (and always when you least expect it to) the whole universe seems to shift in one direction, and for an instant you see everything as it was meant to be seen.

Like missing out on a late night movie and realizing the very next day that one of the people that went along was a stranger that you've been looking for ever since you first saw her at a dinner party - and never got her name.

Or not talking to a few people at all for a few months and then all of sudden in one single day, they all call you at once.

And in that glimmer of serendipity, you finally know how the universe works and why all things happen for a reason.

May you have your own serendipities...all of you.

To my greatest friends..

2006-07-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

Thank you…

For always being there for me whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on.

For making the best kick ass magazine in the world - and getting me Sharifah Amani's number. (you boys never cease to amaze me)

For laughing with me when I was happy, and keeping me alive whenever the going gets rough.

For telling me that nothing is impossible.

For keeping the hope alive.

For calling from faraway places, just to say hello.

For calling after six years, and being able to laugh just like old times.

For dreaming. And sharing them with me.

For staying up so late to make sure that every single word is in its place, and that the plates have all been blackened.

For asking me what size a shirt one should buy for Superman.

For buying me 'Kerepok' just because I liked the one kind.

For putting my favourite piece of cake on the table, even though there was no occasion for you to do so.

For being optimistic. That's a gift everyone should have.

For remembering the smallest things.

For sending me songs at 11pm, just because it reminded you of a time that's long since past.

For teaching me that, life really isn't all that complicated. That it was me all along.

For keeping us full to the hilt when we were in Singapore - i still can't get enough of that bread.

For coming over just to see how I was doing.

For...being a friend.

I love all of you, even if i sometimes fail to say it.

Pictography

2006-06-26T10:31:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i've last put up any kind of photos.

So i'm going to do just that. By flooding this post with pics.

The group of us at Opus on the 18th of June.

Me trying to look like an idiot and Is, just being himself.

In the pilot's seat. Of a Maybach 62.

My heroes. The Former Prime Minister and his son.

Kindness

2006-06-21T21:09:00.000+08:00

The act of kindness is the greatest gift of humanity. Listed below are a few life lessons: -

Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Make it a habit to do nice things for people who'll never find out.
Feed a stranger's expired parking meter.
When someone you know is down and out, mail them a fifty ringgit note anonymously.
Be kinder than necessary.
Carry a couple of inexpensive umbrellas in your car that you can give to people caught in the rain.
Be open and accessible. The next person you meet could become your best friend.
Never underestimate the power of a kind word or deed.
Seek out the good in people.
Never allow a friend to grieve alone.
When going through a checkout line, always ask the cashier how she's doing.
Look for opportunities to make people feel important.
Remember that the nicest thing you can do for yourself is to do something nice for someone else.
Don't take good health, good relationships and good friends for granted.
Don't forget that one minute of anger denies you sixty seconds of happiness.

I expect to pass through this world but once. Therefore, if there be any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again. - William Penn

Three Libras

2006-06-16T23:38:00.000+08:00

I must give a hearty thumbs up to Pian for introducing me to the band 'A Perfect Circle'. Their song entitled Three Libras, is not only one of the most refreshing alternative/rock songs i've heard since a while, it's also reflecting what i'm going through right now quite closely.

I'm actually surrounded by three libras.

And all three of them are special, in every way.

Librans are (by nature) very emotional people. But, their femininity is.... so intoxicating.

And me, being a typical Aries (read:prick), I just can't get enough of their gentility.

Grrr.

How fucking addicting.

If you're a girl and happen to be a libra too, stay a good distance away.

Unless you want me to be hooked on a fourth libra.

I need a cure. And this song isn't doing me any good.

Damn you Pian.

You owe me an Aquarius.

At least they're 'supposedly' calmer. :D

Tapistry

2006-06-14T16:39:00.000+08:00

As you get older, you realize certain things. You realize that everything around you happens for a reason, and that at no instance should you believe that you have any control over the elements that occur at any given time. It’s the machination of life and only in retrospect do you see and understand why it actually happened.

Love to me, is one of life’s biggest mysteries. You really can’t choose love. It happens when you least expect it to, and if you’re really lucky, it happens in your favour.

More often than not, love just happens; when you’re out shopping or having a breakfast meal with a friend. You catch the eye of someone you’re attracted to, an absolute stranger, and sparks ensue, you say hello and subsequently (if again, you’re lucky) numbers are exchanged and you sit in wonder as the theatre of romance unfolds in front of your very eyes.

Yet, as you stay awake at night (probably thinking about her), you ask yourself, how on earth did it actually happen? Two absolute strangers, meeting by chance; and falling for each other. I mean, how rare is that?

Months later, as you bicker constantly on how you both used to be so kind to one another, you should reflect on how it was at the beginning. On how lucky the both of you were to find one another in this wild tapestry we call life.

Coincidences don't happen all the time.

So as i sit here, wondering if my girl of chance is pondering over the same thing, i ask myself in stark silence...

"What if i hadn't said hello?"

Coincidences or not, life is a game where you'd always end up on the losing side, if

...you decide not to play.

Match Point

2006-06-03T21:20:00.000+08:00

This has got to be the best movie i've watched this year.

If you thought Closer was good, have a gander at this one. It's as good (if not better) than Closer.

And it's English. (as in Great Britain, not the spoken word..though it is obviously narrated in English.)

I'm not going to bloody spoil the movie here (especially for those who've not watched it) but suffice to say that, this macabre rendition of a love triangle gone horribly wrong is an epic tale of struggle, between the passion of love and the greed of humanity.

If you're thinking of watching X-Men 3, MI3, or whatever stupid sequel, prequel or drama minggu ini this weekend, forget it. Go out, look for a DVD stall and grab this movie (Match Point) with your dirty great mitts and sit your bum back home before the crowd realises what a gem this movie truly is.

You're not going to be happy with the ending, but i'm sure you'll agree that (as bad as this may sound, and i'll probably be getting into a right kerfuffle with my mates about ethics on this) even though he shouldn't have gotten away with it, life's given him the luck of the draw.

All's fair in love..and war.

Right?

The Secret Of My Success

2006-05-24T00:50:00.001+08:00

"My dad bought me a round trip ticket back to Kansas. Now it's become a symbol for me. The day i use this ticket...is the day New York has beaten me."

I grew up watching this movie. It's been 18 years since it was first released and i still put it on whenever the world feels as though it's about to crumble.

Micheal J Fox became a role model for me as he went through the rigours of 80s New York..the height of the Wall Street boom.

For some, nothing signified Wall Street better than the movie of the same name.

I'm not going to lie to you, Wall Street is every bit as good as they say. But The Secret of My Success had a more wholesome feel to it. It was a movie that moved me.

The DVD has never been off my special rack ever since i bought it off Amazon two years ago.

And I never forgot that line.

It's become a symbol for me. Everytime the world turns its back on me, my mind goes back to the scene when Brantley Foster (Fox) recited that line.

"I'll make sure he gives you a leg up." says his Aunt, on the issue of giving Brantley a speedy promotion.

"Thanks Vera, but I'm going to make it, on my own."

Two Nights

2006-05-17T00:06:00.000+08:00

two nights ago

i drove to a place, far, far away.

two nights ago

i talked to someone who listened more than she should've.

two nights ago

i realised what intoxication can do to a person.

two nights ago

i fell in love with my sense of smell.

two nights ago

i found out that there were exactly fourtyfour skyscrapers in KL. I guessed seven.

two nights ago

someone changed their hair

two nights ago

i learned that one of my brothers wears a tie to work. and with that, also loses his sense of humour.

two nights ago

i found out how a pashmina actually looks like; a table cloth.

two nights ago

i realized that i've finally gotten the answer to my questions.

two nights ago

i realized that i never actually asked any.

Remember Barbarran

2006-05-10T21:32:00.000+08:00

The DJ's from Barbarran are performing this weekend.

They're doing a Remember Barbarran event.

I don't really like clubbing..

but it's Barbarran for fuck's sakes.

We've got to go.

"It's 1969...."

Nikon D200

2006-05-10T00:10:00.000+08:00

So the office receives a new camera. And without further ado, is a snippet of what this little baby can do.

Took me four freaking hours to finish this lego.

But it was worth the hassle.

Because growing up, I never played Lego.

Hahaha.

Little niggles.

2006-05-06T12:13:00.000+08:00

My ex
must’ve been an Israeli militant. She was that brutal.

Maybe I should
have listened to my friends.

I love it
when the sun begins to set and you’re in a topless convertible.

I don’t understand
why cars cost so much in Malaysia.

I lose
my mind when someone expects me to explain the simplest things to them.

People say I’m
addicted to iced lemon tea. I know it’s unhealthy.

Love is
a very crude four letter word. Oh wait..that’s the other one.

Somewhere, someone
is earning more money than he/she’s ever dreamed of.

I will always
wake up on the left side of the bed. I don’t know why.

Forever is
the worst batman movie ever. It lasted like forever too.

I never want
to be hit on my thumb by a lightsaber again. It still HURTS.

I think the current US President
doesn’t know how to think.

When I wake up in the morning,
I’m still on the left side of the bed. I don’t know why.

My past
always seems a lot more rosier than it really is.

I get annoyed
when you buy something, and then a week later a better, cheaper version is released.

Parties are
a dime a dozen.

My dog
has been kidnapped by my ex. I miss Kenu.

My cat
is damn lazy. She’s so fat, her tummy cleans the floor as she drags her flabby ass across my living room.

Kisses are the best when
you least expect it to.

Tomorrow,
is Sunday. I love Sundays. I actually wrote a song about lazy Sundays. Brian said it didn’t sound like me. Brian also loves Power Rangers. Did I mention Brian’s 26? Hahaha.

I really want
an F-430 Spider. Fuck it. Who doesn’t? Except Lynn since she wants the new Aston DBS. Unfortunately darling, you’re not James Bond.

I have low tolerance for
junkies. Coke abusers.

Taken from Dd's blog. Loved it. :)

Get@Car

2006-05-03T19:34:00.000+08:00

AND our new movie coming out this September 2006.

Here's a sneak peek:

Photos

2006-04-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

Some really nice photos of today. Publishing day. Month two.

The Spirit of Ecstasy

2006-04-21T13:10:00.000+08:00

NO it's not a drug. For those of you in the know, the spirit of ecstasy refers to the lady with her skirt lifted slightly above her bum, standing on the hood of any Rolls Royce.

In the same vein, the spirit of ecstasy exists in every single one of us. It is the spirit to believe and the spirit of loving one another in the pursuit of ones own happiness. A glorious harmony of juxtapositions, enthralled in one single unified purpose - to fully appreciate and enjoy every single moment in life.

The past few months have been a blur.

I've seen more than a few people getting dissapointed in love. Whilst it's always sad to see a love unreturned, it is also a whole lot worse to witness a love unspoken.

So chin up boys and girls, at least you've had your chance. Even if it was fleeting.

For those of you who're still looking for that perfect partner, just stop right there. Revel in the fact that you've still got friends around you, and more often than not, having friends is just as good as having a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have one. I'm just saying you should stop trying so hard.

In the same respect, I would like to make it clear as well that it's not fair for some parties to push too hard either.
It makes decision making a whole lot harder. Honestly darling, i enjoyed your company, late night phone calls and invitations for lunch/breakfast/dinner, but I have to be honest - i'm starting to feel strangled.

Let's all just take it slow. We're still young. Take a breather, and do things in stages. Rushing will never do anyone any good.

Enjoy the moments. Enjoy the conversations and the lunches and the movies and the blablablabla...

Only then, will the spirit of ecstasy continue live on.

Blondes

2006-04-15T00:17:00.000+08:00

A short intermission. My current addiction: blondes.

Never knew I had a thing for blondes.

I'm sure some of the boys would agree that Elisha ranks as one of the most desirable women in the world.

Calista is there for my reference and my reference alone. Some like her, some don't.

I found her to be extremely charming in Ally McBeal. Or probably it's just me.

:)

Trepidation, Trials and Tribulation

2006-04-12T01:36:00.000+08:00

As you get older, it becomes increasingly harder for you to find that special someone.

24. Pretty old by my standards.

When I was 12, 24 seemed so far away. I honestly thought i'd be settled down by 24.

Well here I am. None the wiser. More gray hair. But still as confused as I was back then.

I've found someone. I think.

But I botched it. I pulled out too soon.

I freaked when she showed me the same amount of attention i showed her.

I suppose you could call me insane. And no she does not read this blog. And NO she's not the girl from ipanema.

So I can mouth off all I want.

I'm tired of ruining another poor soul's life. Therefore I shall resign myself to a spot of reclusion.

Those who know me, know where to find me.

Metisse

2006-04-09T00:44:00.000+08:00

Taken from one of TVs most underrated show.

Dead Like Me.

This is a short excerpt to one of the most moving scenes ever shown on public television.

It involves two characters. Daisy Adair (the female voice you hear in the background) and Stan (the man who responds to Daisy's comments) who just died and is wondering why God let him live the way he did.

He had wanted a sex change but died on the way to the surgeon.

A very potent conversation. It involves religion, faith and forgiveness.

Click Here to download. Give it a go.

You know you live in 2006 when...

2006-04-06T19:22:00.000+08:00

1.) you accidentally enter your password on a
microwave.

2.) you haven’t played solitaire with real cards in
years.

3.) the reason for not staying in touch with your
friends is that they don’t have
msn/xanga/myspace.

4.) you’d rather look all over the house for the
remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.

6.) your evening activity is the computer.

7.) you read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

8.) as you read this list, you think about how
stupid you are to read this.

9.) and… you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) you actually scrolled back up to check that
there was a number 5.

11.) & now you’re laughing at your stupidity.

You, Me.

2006-03-30T07:42:00.000+08:00

You wonder as you sit cross legged on that favorite couch of yours, how in the hell did you get here?

Ten years ago, you were fourteen, cross eyed, hooked on One Utama and were as single as kraft.

Five years ago you were in college, hard up on foosball, Indonesians and smoking in toilets.

A month ago you were struggling with the infancy of a newborn magazine, a bunch of new faces and a soon to be non-existent social life.

Five minutes ago you woke up sick - again.

I also had messages that said, "Congratulations!! It looks fucking awesome!!" from my team.

At least that made me feel a little better. Small consolation for a boy who is down and out.

The bed is calling me. Must go back to sleep.

Pajamas

2006-03-26T14:45:00.000+08:00

Caesar having a chat with one of his Plebians

Indecents

Big Ears, Big Tears, Big Fears.

2006-03-23T08:36:00.000+08:00

I'm in a dillemma. Okay, to be brutally honest i just couldn't care less.

I just wanted to vent my frustrations out on my blog. It's been too long since my last.

I keep finding the little niggles and imperfections that make a person up.

I've gone off the deep end, and dropped into a pool of shallow Hals. For instance:

One of them is actually quite attractive, but whenever she smiles, it all goes out the window.
I don't know why, but my mother's voice keeps playing in the background. "She has to have nice teeth."

Crap.

Another girl (who has attracted half the alpha males in my office) is attractive in every single sense of the word. But i just can't see it. I keep hearing the words..M-I-C-K-E-Y...M-O..oh you get the freaking point. I'm such an ass.

I think i'm mentally sabotaging myself. Yes, I'm sure of it.

One girl who shall remain an unnamed Libran, can't decide what to do with her life. She still can't decide even as we speak, putting me in her theatrical limbo of destruction. You're here, you're there, you're everywhere. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BALANCE EVERYTHING!!

Good God. Librans and their fucking scales.

So there you have it. I"m stuck in a world of bad choices, bad teeth and big ears.

I need to stop sabotaging myself.

I need to shift the blame.

Therefore, I blame all this existential crap...

on my ex girlfriends.

Hee.

Crunch Time.

2006-03-18T23:29:00.001+08:00

time running out.

don't know if we'll make the window boys.

you've worked so hard. you've humbled me immensely.

if we can make it for the first week of April, I will honestly cry at the stands.

you guys have made this happen.

you guys are the real heroes. the bootie boy, that chick with her stick, the OP, the Man, the mangga thazzle..the Agogo.

the victory belongs to us all.

every single one of us.

one more week to go.

then we can all blow out the candles this weekend.

Playboy Pajama Party

2006-03-12T08:02:00.000+08:00

*PLEASE FOLLOW THE DRESS CODE*

Strictly NO stragglers. For those of you who have already been invited, please dress appropriately. If you're embarassed to attend IN your Pajamas, then bring a change of clothes. You can don your Pajamas once you're inside.

Cheers,
Hugh.

30 Cents

2006-03-04T08:35:00.000+08:00

What does 30 cents mean to you?

A couple of sweets maybe. Half an M&M. One 20 sen coin and another 10 sen coin, put creatively together.

I have to admit, these days 30 cents won't really get you anywhere.

Unless it's a slap off the subsidy the government had placed on our national petrol prices to help 'ease' our troubles.

An increase of 30 cents per litre makes a lot of fucking difference.

Today, a friend told me that it had cost him RM85 to fill his Proton Putra full to the brim.

Four and a bit years ago, it would've only cost him RM55.

Four years ago we were still students, and 55 bucks was a week's worth of Dewan Seleras and Teh Tariks.

Imagine if we had to fork out 85 bucks then. It's almost a week and a half worth of daily, digestible food.

I still remember how we used to hitch a ride with whoever had the most petrol. I knew a friend who filled RM1.50 worth of petrol into her car, just to get home from Sunway to Subang.

Try doing that today and I can guarantee that YOU'LL end up being the cause of the mile long traffic jam across the LDP.

We used to "Tong-Tong" (Share-Share..hahaha) petrol money into a pool which we used whenever someone was strapped for cash. It was fun. Someone gets the loot to fill their car with a bootful of petrol, whilst we...get a Driver for the day.

Because petrol was so cheap we went practically everywhere.

We actually went to see waterfalls, on a weekday no less, just for the fun of it.

We even went ghost hunting (during the day..lol) because we had 10 ringgit worth of petrol to waste and by god try as we did, we just could not finish it by day's end.

You may think i'm overreacting here, but 30 cents is a lot of money. A lot of kids today are being deprived of adventures they'll never end up having, simply because 10 ringgit worth of share-share money in 2006 won't even get them pass the first toll booth. Even if they did...

They'd run out of petrol just before they'd even caught a glimpse of the second toll.

Exactly Where You're Supposed To Be.

2006-02-28T21:34:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you took the effort and just gazed at the stars above?

Those tiny twinkly bits between the dark areas and the big round ball that looks like moldy old cheese.

When was the last time you took the chance to go on a holiday with a friend?

You know, when you leave the four walls you call your home, and into the foor doors you call your jalopy.

I gazed up once some time ago, and what I saw up there surprised me.

It was a canvas filled with a million, billion dazzling lights...shining ever so brightly..like mini fireflies in the heavens.

The serenity..was immense. You feel small, tiny even and the gnawing feeling that you are just another speck in the expanse of infinite space is real. We are all an array of juxtaposed improbabilities, spread across galaxies like peanut butter on gardenia bread.

In Malaysian terms..

Giler gempak, Brader.

I stood there for a whole minute, gasping at the cold midnight air. Raspy, foreign...and yet somehow...so strangely familiar.

The wind blew a soft gentle murmur carrying with it a harmony of slurs and whispers...passing from one tree to another...through fields of dreams...and epic adventures in between. The wind has always been there. So have the stars...and that round gangly object that looks like a week old Big Mac.

"Wish for something," came a voice from behind.

"I already have." I replied, without even stopping to think.

She smiled, the way only a stranger could.

Detached, cold.. and yet it felt so honest, I couldn't help but just smile back at her.

"Me too." she said, her head cocked upwards...to the sky.

A moment passed and she continued on walking, past the jostling crowds, street performers and colourful restaurants... and for an instant...even though the world was still spinning faster than i can ever latch on to... I felt at peace. I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

The wind was still blowing, the stars still twinkling and I..I was still smiling.

Four years have passed since, yet the smile on my face is still just as real as it was that on the fateful night.

So go on now..look up. Bring your lover, children, parent...friend. Just lay down on a field of grass and gaze into the void.

Trust me, it's one of the best therapy you'll ever have.

The Passage of time.

2006-02-26T02:26:00.001+08:00

Tonight I caught up with friends I haven't seen in years. I've actually not seen one of them since i was 12! It was good fun. We laughed, we teared....it was definately a walk down memory lane.

I got back home, breezed through my files to see what i should delete to make room for my endless collection of junk..and came across a file i thought I'd lost. A month's worth of photos in 2003.

I must warn you, the photos i'm about to post are extremely funny, embarassing..or all of the above.

What's the point of looking at old photos if you can't laugh at yourself anyways?

Now I get to share with all of you here so you too can laugh at me and my exploits with like minded friends. Ah..the innocence of being a student...

Hee.

Man.. I miss Kenu. He's the Aibo dog on Maleik's arm.

That's Kenu again. He went through a fur transplant. Honest.

Beautiful

2006-02-20T20:42:00.001+08:00

And as the sun began to set, we reached home. The sky was a sea of crimson and violet, a scene which should remain vividly in my mind for at least a few more years.

It was a day filled with mundane ramblings over work, proof readings and for some of us...matrixes (not the cool kind, the mathematical ones). We listened to one another, tossed and turned over what should be done, and what could've been different..but we all knew that deep down inside, even if we were all given the chance to do it any differently...

We wouldn't have.

One of my friends is going through a bad break up, another is finding it hard to define what she's going through right now with a guy she's in love with, a close guy friend of mine wonders why i never get attracted to any of the girls i used to date..and I...well let's just say that I'm in a pretty pickle right now with this girl i was just recently introduced to...

Life is a journey best left unplanned. It's like buying a happy meal at Mcdonalds, you never know when that toy you got in the box is going to accidentally fall into your burger and choke you to death.

I woke up today on a bevy of thoughts and irrational problems plaguing my mind. I had tons of work to finish, lots of proof reading, re-editing, photoshopping...the general headaches more commonly associated with doctors, lawyers and the occasional dog walker.

But it's always good to have such great friends around. Mind you, they both came equipped with their own brand of music. One of them labelled her CD as Melayu Sgt. Which essentially means, "I love Nasi Lemak, Budu and Asam Pedas". Just kidding darling, your music as ever was lovely. But to be brutally honest, it is amazing how 80 percent of your songs happen to be Indonesian..so shouldn't they be labelled as, "Bibik Sangat"?

It is always a pleasure though to be serenaded by two very colourful friends, who constantly berate you with their brand of advice and nay sayings. Why? Because they make you feel as though nothing could ever let you down. The jokes, the irrational brand of comedy that they bring to the table...they all go a long way to make you feel just that little bit better, even though the world around you has plumetted into darkness and the only thing you have on is your Union Jack brand of underwear.

No matter which way the wind blows, you're alright as long as you have friends who are there to keep you standing. Proud and tall. Or short and stout.

I ended the day with a journey of flashbacks and some overdose of optimism with a friend i've known for more years than i would care to count. As we walked briskly around the neighborhood we realised that we're actually twenty four this year and sooner or later we'll all be settling down. He asked me if i could handle my own kid, and I answered in a manner which is best left to the imagination. But it's an answer of pure honesty, and one which is entirely composed by the present.

We talked for a whole hour, wondering how it would be to live in a penthouse with a pool the size of the Amazon and a deck the length of the QE2. We talked about old love and new acquaintences, and how many real friends we actually have.

And as we slowly walked our way back home, the sun began to set...and we just stood there for a minute as we watched God's wonder laid bare upon our eyes.

"It's beautiful," was the last thing we said to one another before heading back home.

February Babies

2006-02-13T14:23:00.000+08:00

A whirlwind weekend of parties, gatherings and birthday cakes. It was a great way to spend the weekend, even though it's taken me two days to fully recover from the exhaustion, sleep depravation and mad laughs.

Gubra

2006-02-06T08:51:00.000+08:00

The sequel to one of Malaysia's most talked about movie.

Click Here to watch a sneak preview of the flick.

Gubra (Anxiety) tells a story of love and forgiveness, its possibilities and the hopes it brings. Essentially there are two stories which parallel each other, the first is the continuation of Orked’s (Sepet’s protagonist) life while the second tells the story of a muezzin; Pak Bilal Li and his efforts to assist two prostitutes in finding redemption for themselves and their families.

Seven years after Jason/Ah Loong (Ng Choo Seong), Orked (Sharifah Amani Al-Yahya) is now married to a much older guy, Arif (Adlin Aman Ramlie). Everything seems ideal in their marriage at first glance; Arif loves Orked to bits and theirs seem like a match made in heaven.

One fateful morning, Orked is awakened by a distressing phone call from Mak Inom (Ida Nerina Hussain) with news that Pak Atan (Harith Iskander Musa) has become catatonic due to diabetic complications. Orked rushes to her parents’ house, to find Pak Atan unresponsive and ill; Mak Inom and Annuar the family driver are hysterical. Kak Yam (Adibah Noor), the family maid however is rather calm and collected. After some chaos, they take Pak Atan to the hospital. There, Orked bumps into Alan (Alan Yun), Jason’s elder brother. His father, Pa (Thor Kah Hoong) has also been hospitalized. As the film develops, we witness the friendship between Alan and Orked flourish, to Arif’s apprehension. Perhaps because for Orked, Alan is a link to her first love.

Throughout the film we are also introduced to another ‘family’. The muezzin or Pak Bilal (Shahili Abdan aka Namron) heads an institution of sorts; consisting of his wife, Kak Maz, their 7 year-old child, two prostitutes, Temah and Kiah (Juliana Ibrahim), as well as Temah’s son, Shahrin and a mysterious gambler named Ki, played here by Khir Rahman.

Pak Bilal is portrayed as a non-judgmental and religious man whose way of ‘preaching’ is most unconventional. A family man, Pak Bilal chooses to surround himself in a community that seems lost, and lacking in hope, love and trust. They’re vivacity in this film is in direct opposite from Orked’s thus the audience is invited to observe the diversity between the two sets.

The story then unfolds into a web of deceit and heartbreak. Orked finds out that her husband has been cheating on her; Temah’s is diagnosed with a serious illness, Ki meets his illegitimate son under dismaying circumstances. Kak Yam falls for a hospital attendant named Pengki, to Annuar’s dismay, whilst taking care of Pak Atan in the ward and Kiah, the young prostitute is killed accidentally.

In Gubra, Yasmin has chosen to compare a conventional and rather stable family, which is forced to adapt to recent and surprising issues; with the unconventional and improvised group that makes up Pak Bilal’s family of sorts. Who are continually being challenged by the adversities in life. The dramas of these events and the difference in approach as portrayed by these two groups in adapting and overcoming these very real trials is what makes Gubra an entertaining multi-layered examination of human behavior and social perception.

It'll be out on the 2nd of March. I'll definately be right up there in the front row (fine not really front row-lah since you can't see much what..), supporting the Malaysian film industry. Who's with me?

See You Soon

2006-01-31T15:23:00.000+08:00

I had a chat with an 'old' friend today. I'm ashamed to admit that in some ways I've actually gone so far as to have erased her from my mind. I called her early.. straight off the gym and there was no answer.

Typical. She never wakes up this early anyway. Except for that one time when I had to give her something out of the blue.
It was a kind of present just without the birthday. She was happy even though it was an item with no real material value, just an item that means something to her.

Anyways, as i got back home, laid on my bed and munched on my breakfast whilst greedily watching the latest episode of Scrubs (yes, I know I'm THAT slow) she rang. Just as i got to it, it got cut off. Patience is definately a virtue you have dear. :)

So i called her back, and lo and behold it went straight to her voice mail. "Forget it," I mumbled under my breath. "I'm tired of being the good samaritan all the bloody time."

Just as i was done swearing in four different languages (none of them making any sense), a message came in telling me that she'd been trying to call me twice during the time i had anxiously dialled her number. "Funny," I thought. "She's actually making an effort."

Then the call came again. This time I hastily picked up. I asked if she had just woken up.

"No. Dah lama dah (It's been a while)" was her response.

"Really?" I asked. "What time?"

"About ten minutes ago." she replied.

I laughed at how she could actually tell me that with what i assumed would've been a very straight face.

We had a few arguments on how hard it was for us to see each other these days and how everyone's getting busier by the minute. I told her I couldn't see her on Saturday because I promised (nay, ARM TWISTED by a friend) to appear on Astro to do some weird teenage show or something. Well that's ANOTHER story altogether.

She laughed and told me not to say anything "bodoh" while i was at it. I said I'll try my very darndest not to and that me appearing on TV is as bodoh as it gets.

And I suppose it is. Or at least will be. But not as bodoh as i felt when I put the phone down. Because the last thing she said to me was..

"Yeah, we'll do brunch on Sunday. I'm always free on Sundays."

Yeah right.

:)

Iketeru and Tapas

2006-01-29T19:27:00.000+08:00

What a great weekend. One of the very few (since work always gets in the way) that we're so proud to be having; surrounded by a group of exciting, young and very chatty bunch of twenty-somethings.

La Bodega and Alexis served the canvas to which we splashed the rainbow of our conversations. An unforgettable weekend surrounded by a truly memorable group of people.

Edit: In the previous post, I posted a comment wondering who we'd 'bump' into this week. It was a joke more than anything else. But I suppose not all jokes are actually funny. Some of them are downright uncomfortable. So I did bump into someone this weekend. She was the last person i thought i'd see, but see her i did anyways. We had small talk for a bit, deftly avoided the "why didn't you reply my messages" question (which would've been directed at me) and turned around and continued talking to our respective friends. I guess in some ways, it's a fitting end to the tale of iPanema.

As I was about to leave I tapped her shoulder to say our goodbyes. Our eyes locked for an instant, knowing that this would probably be the last time we'd ever 'bump' into one another ever again. We both knew we had said our goodbyes the moment we came back to KL many, many moons ago. Anyway, enough with this tale of woe, back to the photos:

That's me, trying to think of another way to describe "Overcast" during a heated game of Charades.

Memoirs of the Geisha, starring Fizie.

That's Lynn trying to stuff a finger into my ear. The photos we take.. :)

Zuuru (which means "Cheater" in Japanese..haha) being Robocop and an extra from Prison Break.

Nizam definately took the "Chocolate Cake" when he tried to describe the act of being seasick during charades. Everybody, and I mean everybody broke into a fit of laughter. Funny bastard.

That's Nadira, crossed eyed and in the second photo she tries very hard to explain to a friend how Heartattack is actually a game and not a disease. Honest.

The "Hunchback" as he so eloquently called himself during a game of Charades is Ezar. Dude...why would EZAR be in the CARDS? :)

Alexis
This is Mei Ida who's here on holiday, who explained to Zull (amidst a wall of laughter) that Zuuru actually meant Cheater in Japanese. She also tried very hard to make Alfi say "Iketeru" but gave up after Alfi "Malaysianized" the word. She learned three words today, "Cun", "Poyo" and "Ampang". haha.

This gentleman right here is Alfi, who despite trying very hard to BE Iketeru (which means "cool" in Japanese), had a hard time saying the word. He still got it wrong as we left the restaurant.

And last but not least is Shukor (who can actually write his name down in Japanese!), who gets his own spot because he says that he should be Charging us for his presence. So here ya go mate, your very own photo. Muahahaha.

Well hope you guys enjoyed the photos. Have a good weeklong holiday people.

The Girl On TV

2006-01-23T12:08:00.000+08:00

I don't think I'd like to be on TV; truffling along like an idiot with nothing better to do than to smile wider than the Penang Bridge whilst reading a teleprompter that shuffles faster than an ecstasy laden 18 year old chuffie during a rave party isn't the reason I went to University.

But most of all I wouldn't want to be on TV for one reason and one reason alone; the constant eye glances and finger pointing at all but the most dilapidated of places. Plus, I'm sure no one would want to hire me either.

Harith is funny as a pelican, Douglas Lim has wit to match his charm, Sharifah Amani has her cutesy pre pubescent outlook and Mawi...well, everybody makes mistakes right?

A television personality doesn't have to be the cream of the malaysian crop, but having good looks does help your door swing just that little bit wider. Once you're in the semi glamorous world that is Malaysian television you'd be hard pressed to get yourself out. I suppose it's fun for the first few months when a few heads swing in your favour, but i'll bet you'd be begging for some kind of face mask when some of your more hardcore fans bombard you whilst you're having your quiet sunday morning breakfast at Raju.

Or worse, having a bunch of googly eyed twenty somethings laughing and giggling like schoolboys while trying their very best to 'avoid' eye contact with you. In a fancy Bangsar restaurant, no less.

To be honest with you, I don't watch the telly. I hardly have the time. If I wanted to watch something, I'll just grab it off the rack at my local DVD store or *gasp* torrent it. So I'm in the proverbial dark when it comes to all these new pan asian telly personas.

Until yesterday that is. I suppose after seeing how this TV host looks like in person (not that i've ever seen her on TV), I'm ready to submit myself to the rigours of being a telly addict all over again. I do believe that a person with legs up to their shoulders shouldn't be allowed to roam the streets freely. It is a hazard to us men.

Worst of all, is the idiocy of it all. After we wiped our chins clean of drool and spittle, we mustered up enough verbal strength to ask the age old question.

"Eh, so who's gonna get her number?"

Five minutes of 'macho man bashing', (you know the ones where the boys keep pushing one another verbally and physically to 'be the man') later and we were still pinned to our seats, still unable to move.

At Men Are Here, we discussed how we as 'Men' would go up to strangers who happen to catch our attention(s) and say the silly things a man would to get her name, number, birthday, MyKad etc. But what if that girl happened to be a television host, who is not only hotter than Kampung Baru punya Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa time Raya, but is also a glorified personality that most young, strapping twenty somethings have posted on their bedroom walls? (okay i'm exagerrating, but hell if she had a poster i'd buy it)

Would you still go up to her?

If you did, what praytell would you tell her?

:)

One Self

2006-01-20T18:44:00.000+08:00

Inspired by Elizabeth Bishop's seminal poem, One Art.

So tell me, when was the last time you did something truly selfless? Ah, I see a few wayward hands being shamelessly lifted up, but people please..hands down. I'm here to inform you that giving to the poor isn't a selfless act. It's societal.

A selfless act is something you do in spite of yourself. Like jumping in front of grenade, losing an arm and a leg for a squadmate. And no, doing it on the Xbox doesn't count.

The act of human generosity and decency is waning so vividly in our society that in time, even primates might supersede us. Hey, at least they share their bananas. When was the last time you shared your Big Mac?

We have crafted the art of Selfishness to such an extent that it has become unrecognizable; a blur among other inate human tendencies which have become fallacies that directly contributed to our follies as denizens of what should have been a more productive and conducive society.

The One Self (as i'd like to call it) isn't a gospel. It isn't even something you can grasp. But it's in each and every one of us; ingrained in our psyche like oil in our Teh Tarik. Oh you mean you thought that was cream? Wake up and smell the ghee for fuck's sake.

The One Self is the Zen of being selfish. We have crafted our selfishness (or kiasu, kerek, kelepet or any other k-words which might spring to mind) to such a new and enlightened level that even when we are being selfish, we call it as being "A means of Expression."

Wow. How good is that? We create a post modernistic term to justify what is quite simply known as being..a prick. Don't believe me? See if you find this familiar.

You fall in love, she loves you back, and for a good six months you love one another like Porn Stars on the set of Arma-get-it-on until she dumps like you toxic waste for some other guy and you call her a bitch for being so out of tune to your emotions. You would presumably start to call her selfish, and continue to create a delirious fantasy that had you been a greek god, you would've have felled here like lightning to a corn dog.

Idiot. Did you ever ask yourself if she had needs and wants of her own? Besides, even Zeus must've had his bad days. I mean, look at his beard for god's sakes. He must've struck himself AT LEAST once.

Children, children, children.. open your eyes (and stop doing that 3G maxis voice, you sound nothing like her). We're all in love with ourselves. Everybody wants an eye for an eye. Did anyone ever stop to think that if everyone wanted an eye for an eye..the whole world would go...Blind?

Tsk. We should really relish in the joy of helping others, seeing others being happy before One is happy oneself.

Nah

I'm too fucking idealistic.

The world is not based on an egalitarian system. We live in a world dictated by Supply and Demand. We believe that everything should have a purpose, and that everything has a price tag to it, even you.

We live in a world where the rich buy the Mansions and the wage earning proletariats (Machais to those unencumbered few) end up paying for it. We are cocooned in a society so self absorbed that even if someone had decided to rob a company for all its worth, we would barely even bat an eye. Unless it had happened to you of course. Oh, then you'd be dancing naked in the parliament. With a tattoo of the minister in places... best left to the imagination. Oh yes.

We are Malaysians after all.

So tell me ladies and gentelmen (nope it's not a typo, i really meant what i spelt). Are you the few road hoggers who love to drive slowly on the fast lanes of our multi storey highways? If you are, than give yourselves a big pat on the shoulder for you are definately a poster child for the One Self committee.

Oh don't feel left out for there are other One self nominees as well such as the ones who always turn up late for meetings. Oh traffic jam you say? You must simply give yourselves a bigger pat on your backs people! Who would've thought someone who has lived in KL for so long is so unaccustomed to the nuances of our traffic congestion(s). Amazing! Words cannot express how we feel. Truly Asia-lah lu.

So to the One Selfs out there, stand tall! Macchiavelli himself would roll, tumble and weave in his grave at the thought of us all being just as satirical as his writings.

How mesmerizing yes?

A resounding yes is on the tip of everybody's mouthes.

Yes. We are all, pathetically selfish.

Haiyo. Read the poem this post was inspired by and do something about our One Selves tomorrow.

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Elizabeth Bishop

Break

2006-01-18T21:24:00.000+08:00

Why can't I just get some fucking slack.

Honestly. Just a little bit of room to breathe.

I'm tired of getting an inch and losing a mile.

Fuck.

Some people have it easy. You should thank your lucky stars that you are.

Damn it.

Politics Explained

2006-01-16T15:15:00.001+08:00

And to think that I spent 3 years studying this in Uni! You can get it all in just ONE internet post! Lol. Read it..it's really quite good!

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

The Girl From iPanema, Returns.

2006-01-13T09:36:00.000+08:00

“Are you driving?” came the voice on the other end - sultry, smooth and extremely coy.

“Not really,” I replied, as a wall of noise blared through my telly. “My friend’s playing a driving game.”

“Hah..at least I was close.”

I could almost see her smile. The girl from iPanema is back, like sunburn on a badly scarred skin, it hurts like hell but you can’t help but be amazed at how persistent that grimy crusted skin is seemingly ‘welded’ onto your body.

Like the atypical disgruntled policeman, she’s always there whenever you least expect her to be.

The girl from iPanema inadvertently became the topic of yesterday’s very long and overdrawn lunch. Needless to say, I was told time again, that I should leave South America well alone and return home, where the girls are just as inexorably intoxicating.

“But, I just can’t seem to find someone as ‘quirky’ as she.” I replied politely but firmly.

“Bro,” his eyes tightened the way people generally do when they’re about to say something perennially sensitive. “Why don’t you try someone against your convention for once?”

I gave a short sigh and told him that I’ve tried someone who was against my character once and it just didn’t go well.

The conversation went on for a good two hours before I had to go back to the office.

Later in the evening, I went swimming with an old friend of mine. We weren’t even 10 laps in before the sky decided to open up its taps and pour relentless rain on us unsuspecting souls. I told her that everything happens for a reason. Maybe God had wanted us to sit and have a decent conversation instead of lapping the pool like two rabid mongrels. And what a chat we had – wrapped up in warm towels whilst smoking lightly scented cigarettes.

“It’s easy to fantasize on the things you can’t get,” she said as a puff of smoke gently flows through her lips. “It becomes a perfect picture in your mind. What if she’s not as you see her through your eyes?”

I sat there, astonished at how right she was. I just smiled and told her how surprised I was that she knew exactly how I felt.

“I was in the same place you were, remember?” she smiled as she exhaled another puff of smoke.

We laughed and compared notes over a good half an hour before the sun came out again. Just as we were about to go back into the pool she told me that I should never listen to hearsay and that I should always view the girl from iPanema the way she is with me.

“Maybe she’s different with others,” she told me, her eyes fixed. “But what counts is how she is with you.”

Smart girl-lah you. You’ve grown up into such a beautiful young lady my dear, and I am so very proud of you (even though I never say it). I’m so impressed at how you view life with an open heart and a fresh pair of eyes every single time – it never seizes to amaze me.

As night fell and the last vestiges of our cigarettes fell to the ground, we gazed in wonder as the sky turned a shade of amber and the sun sets itself into the horizon.

“Hey, stop being so lazy-lah.” Said the girl from iPanema, waking me from my slumber. Her tone was fierce and unmistakably succinct.

“Lazy? Why are you calling me lazy all of a sudden?” Was my confused response. The noise of the cars in the background was still just as loud.

“Don’t let other people play your games for you, do it yourself!”

With that, she let out a soft giggle. Just before we ended the conversation, we both tacitly agreed to ‘bump’ into one another more often.

“But” I told her, keeping my voice as steady as possible. “We’ll always have our excuses y’ know.”

She gave a short pause before responding in her trademark nonchalant manner.

“Ha’ah.”

Godspeed PK, we'll miss ya.

2006-01-12T12:47:00.000+08:00

It was quite a sight really. Seeing him play with his niece at home, jokingly teasing his friend not to cry at the mamak stall..the small moments which happen everytime someone leaves.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but a farewell is never a happy moment. Seeing a friend leave for better and greener pastures has become quite a norm for me lately and I thought I'd be comfortable with it - but I'm not. I don't want to be used to it.

Two friends have left for Singapore. I don't know when I'll be seeing them again even though it's just across the causeway.

At least we had a hoot. The brash insults at everybody at the gym, the jokes we made at mamak stalls, the stupid lamborghini incident...they were all funny as fuck. Gym ain't gonna be the same without you since there's not another single crazy idiot who bench presses 100 lbs dumbells.

All the best in your ventures in Singapore, 'brader'. And yes, I won't stop going to the gym. :)

The Girl From iPanema

2006-01-08T22:02:00.000+08:00

"Hello." Was the voice on the other end. Sweet, innocent with nary a hint of the intention behind her unexpected social call.

"Hey," I responded. "I'm in a meeting."

"What?" she asked, unsure of what she heard. "You're eating?"

I repeated myself three times before she finally caught on to what I was actually saying.

We both laughed. She laughed at my inability to form proper sentences, I laughed at her apparent hearing disability.

That's why I find her to be so refreshing. She's like Blue Cheese dressing on your Nasi Lemak. So very wrong, yet so very exciting..a moving contradiction-lah, so to speak.

I have tried to shake her off like a bad case of the flu, yet I can't help but be drawn to her everytime she calls. She's got Mundrum on me. And a pretty strong case of Mundrum to boot. Extra strong, no money back guarantee some more.

Last week when I was down with my vicarious and largely temperamental viral infection, I told the girl from iPanema that I had to cancel breakfast. She thought I was playing a prank, and that I did that just so that I could avoid seeing her.

Great. At least she has a macabre sense of humour to go along with her inability to tune in to human vocal expressions. Bwa-ha-ha.

My problem with this girl from iPanema is that, I can't or won't take her off my mind. I like having her around whenever I least expect her to. Like a hurricane, you don't know when she's coming but she'll definately take the house away with her as she goes. Metaphorically speaking of course. :)

She's so very wrong for me, and as a friend told me today;

"Two wrongs, don't make a right, Eddie."

Yeah, but why does something so wrong feel so right? Probably cause you know it is wrong.

Lust is wrong. Gambling is wrong. The OSIM chair that costs 33 grand is so very wrong.

Yet, you can't help but find some 'sinful' connection that inadvertantly pulls you in. They even invented a word for this.

Gravitas

My girl from iPanema has Gravitas in boatloads, and that's long before her mundrum kicks in.

"I'm eating chicken." I said.

"What? You're in the kitchen?" was her reply.

Haha. You're so very special in a way that's just so wrong it's got to be right.

:)

Conversations

2006-01-04T00:43:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered why a conversation over a warm cup of tea on a cold rainy day is one of the most pleasurable moments in life?

Me neither. But I for one can attest that it, rocks.

We can talk about anything and everything, and still have a canyon's worth of tales to recite. I derive a huge amount of pleasure from having the smallest most uninteresting conversations, just as long as it's with a group of people that I love. We joke about other people's idiocy and laugh at our own shortfalls. We take life's many challenges in giant yet humble strides, and try not to take everything too seriously.

Sometimes you wonder if the moments you're experiencing will ever repeat itself again..and in some ways, it never does. But that doesn't make us any less fortunate. To have the opportunity to even bask in the comfort of each other's presence is a gift in itself.

I never thought I'd see some of my friends ever again and I did. Some have even gotten married, and I'm so very happy for you - you've chartered a new and epic journey in your life, in such a youthful and vibrant manner I've not seen since we were kids.

In 2005, I've laughed over old heartbreaks, tossed and turned on new ones and broke a few hearts as well. I've learned that conversations are an important aspect of any friendship, relationship or marriage. If you can't talk to one another, you're just begging for trouble to brew somewhere down the road when you least expect it to.

Talk, shout, yell..do whatever it takes to get your point(s) across..as long as it goes from your mouth to his/her ears. Be honest and love your friends the way you want to be loved in return. No soul on earth wants to be unloved. If I leave a conversation in a ponderous and hopeless manner, I'm only leaving myself open to interpretations and assumptions.

Everyone has opinions, and some believe that their opinions count for more than just a few jumbled words fused with day old spittle. You wouldn't want someone giving you advice on what kind of underwear you should buy, so why should you listen to a person's remark on who you should date? Never force your bravado, ideology or beliefs on anyone, unless you're ready to defend your stance. Give advice only when you're ready to receive a rebuttal. Make sure they know that your advice is just another person's point of view and not a religious gospel.

I suppose I need to listen more this year, and dish out a little less advice - in spite of your protests.

Listening is my therapy...and in 2006, I suppose that's exactly what the doctor ordered.

1.1.06

2006-01-01T11:54:00.000+08:00

What a new year's celebration. Thank you all for your kind wishes before, during and after new year's. My mailbox actually filled up..so I'm really sorry if i didn't receive/reply to all your msgs, probably i'll receive the remainder of the msgs today. I hope everyone had a new year's to remember, and may all your resolutions and wishes for 2006 come true.

New Year's

The company

And our group shots.

As Matiin said, "I couldn't have wished for a better group of people to share New Year's with."

I couldn't agree more.

I love you guys.

To a smacking good year people.

Warmest Wishes,
Adlin Yusman

360:365

2005-12-31T16:46:00.000+08:00

A new year is dawning on us yet again. I'm off to a spirited poker game with close old friends and some wacky new ones.

Have a great one, people.

365 new days.

360 rocks the world. I wanna get an Xbox 360 shirt to compliment the console...Halo 3....ooooh.

I'm in love with Joanna Dark. She's solid too.

:)

To Thailand, with Love.

2005-12-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

Let me take the time to give you a short tour of Thailand.

Visit Thailand today! :)

The Pianist

2005-12-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

A good pianist moves your very soul. If you're in a jazz bar or a hotel lobby, Just sit a while and listen to him caress the keys, depressing every note with the smallest and softest touch of his hands, passing through his fingers leaving only the gentle, humming tune of the keys in his wake.

I myself am no stranger to music. I would hope to believe that I do have some musical rhythm in me; even if it is in the smallest sense. I play the guitar extensively... yet it brings me a different kind of joy, its an instrument where i can break the ice at parties or get strangers to sing along to timeless tunes..over and over again.

But it's not the same as listening to someone play the piano from his or her heart. The piano, much like the sax is an instrument which can be coloured by the contours of the player's emotion. Sad, lonely...immensely joyous...they're all there if you really listen. It's really quite beautiful.

As I lay on my bed, my throat still sore and my lips still puffed up...the slow, rhythmic tapestry of the pianist playing over and over again on my stereo is floating me away. It's bringing me to a place where i'm healthy again, and my mind is free to dream again and my heart as light as the feather that floats needlessly around me.

Being really sick, has made me realise one thing. Your true friends are the ones who slag off to see you (through rain or shine) when you can barely open your eyes, and spend every boring moment playing some stupid board game, or trying their very best to stay awake during a late night poker game. They make you laugh and smile when you're too sad to do it by yourself. They tell you to be strong when every muscle in your body has failed you.

They don't ask the questions of, "Oh do you need anything?" or "You really sick or not?",

They don't need to. They were there with me. Making me smile, and keeping me sane. I wasn't able to talk much last night due to the immense pain in my throat, but through persuasion, lame jokes and hearty laughs...I talked again, without me realising it.

When they left, one of them turned around and asked me,

"So, I take it you can talk now?"

I said yeah, apparently so.

"Good," He cocked his head up and smiled. "Then we've done what we came here to do."

Like the pianist, the tapistry of friendship is just as transparent, something everyone can see and touch..yet only the lucky few ever get to appreciate it whilst they still can.

I hope in this new year, I will learn to appreciate every single one of them just that little bit more.

Here's to the Pianist in us all.

An old crush, a lock of hair and a lot of answers.

2005-12-21T18:58:00.000+08:00

For the past two days, i have become soul mates with my bed. I have flipped from one end to the other so often, I've started to look like a seal on ecstasy. I've watched endless reruns of old shows, ate wildly different food, had dreams and shared passionate tales of wonder with it.

You might think it's counter productive to stay in bed on a working day and for many reasons, you'd be right. But not this time.

You see, I've been sick for the past two days. In fact i'm coughing so violently as I type this piece, that I'm feeling a tad jealous for that man having his tonsil operation. You see, at least he knows when he'll be up and about. I on the other hand, have a medication list the length of the NKVE. On some of the prescriptions they have such dire warnings which wouldn't be out of place on a rusted gate...in Chernobyl.

But the purpose for this post isn't to cite the moans and groans of being bed ridden. For that you could go and read Malaysians for Peace. I wonder if they'd all been bed ridden at one point or another. The things they write..they go on and on as though anybody gives a rats ass what we non-nuclear powered nation thinks. Oh well, it's a free world right.

I'm here to tell you about crushes, a lock of hair..and some answers.

You see, everyone's had crushes at one point or another. Some have had them since the day they were in pre school. Others in primary..secondary..well you catch my drift. Chances are, crushes usually remain unfulfilled. Either the crush never knew you had those feelings, or they just didn't feel the same way. As time passes you usually move on and if you're fortunate enough, you might end up being friends with thme somewhere down the road.

This year has been the year of ironies. And if it heads the way it is now, it'll definately end with a bang..to say the least. I have literally gone about my crushes in reverse order, from the latest one..to the one i had when i was in primary school. Had i done this with me birthdays, I'd be 5 years old, playing with me Bronto.

And I must say, it has been an outstanding journey. Meeting them all again, finally being able to say something without looking all silly, and actually being able to laugh about it all..was an epic experience.

In so many ways it's as though i'm receiving a series of closure for all those unanswered questions.

But at least I asked the right ones. It's funny how i bumped into my first crush at another friend's wedding reception. If this had happened when i was younger, I'd probably be ham fisting everything with gibbers and excitable tones. Fortunately this was no longer the case, and i actually had a decent conversation with her. I've never had a decent conversation with her. And i've known her since I was nine.

I was half expecting her to be as stupifyingly resplendent and vivacious as i had remembered. I suppose in some ways she still was, it's just that..I suppose i've grown out of that young, boyhood crush and found that while beauty may have its charms, beauty alone isn't enough to carry one's crush from being an infatuation to a full blown love affair. And I realised that for all those times i held on to it, it was because of how she looked like, and not for who she was.

It took one fateful night many,many years later to finally have a chance to have a decent conversation with her.

For once I saw her for who she really was and not for her obvious physical attributes. A very friendly, calm and effeminate young lady who, in spite of going through life's many challenges at such a very tender age, still carried herself with aplomb and vigour. All through dinner me and her best friend talked and laughed, oh how we laughed..I tried being a gentleman though very unsuccesfully, and i realised that sometimes not all crushes end up remaining unfulfilled. It only becomes that way, if you decide to not be her friend; or if your fear of rejection has pushed you so far down the grapevine that you've forgotten the real reason why you fell for that girl in the first place.

So here I was, many years later, a proper pucker of an idiot for not trying to be her friend. At least I finally had a chance to talk to her as a proper person, and not as some beedy eyed pre pubescent dingbat who couldn't finish a proper sentence.

When you fall for someone because they attract you physically, that's infatuation; pure and simple. But if you've fallen for someone, with little or no idea how you came there in the first place..then that my dear friends, is attraction. It's the first step towards falling for someone. Just hang on to that thought and keep asking yourself the questions of how,when...and why. If you can't answer it, then you're on the right track. Simply because, there shouldn't just be ONE reason.

There should be so many reasons that you'll never be able to trivialize your emotions towards her. You'll usually come up with some stupid reason anyway. I know I did when my friend asked me,

"Hey Eddie, why do you like her so much anyways? What's the best part that you like about her?"

I looked at her, cracked a smile and said,

"Her hair."

Snippets

2005-12-18T18:57:00.000+08:00

Some photos.

The Human Spirit

2005-12-08T19:25:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: The tale I am about to share with you, the world at large, isn't about me. It is about the simple pleasures of life, and that innocent little kid in us all. It is about the passion of life, and the wonder that is the human spirit.

You wake up in the morning to see the light of dawn slowly creeping across the horizon and into the tiny crevices of your curtain rails and window sills. As you slowly grace yourself of that sodden bed of yours, you wonder if today just like yesterday would be any different.

You don't know the answer to that question, yet you will yourself up regardless of the consequences. Simply because the best part about living life, is not knowing what's behind the next corner or what coffee will be offered at Starbucks during Christmas this year. You rationalize mundane daily routines as "same shit different day" excuses, but you have to admit that being where you are right now really isn't half bad.

We were all born clean, and free from sin. It's just the way life has coloured us since our birth(s) that has changed us. Materialism kicked in, love and heartbreaks had made us look like twats on a stick, family suddenly becomes the most important aspect of your life as you wonder when is it your turn to finally have one of your own, and your friends had just painted a smorgasboard of personality traits over the years that you just can't rub off.

I have a tale about a father who told me (and another gentleman) how proud he was of his daughter. He was reciting how amazed he was by his daughter who seemed to be absolutely unfazed by the materialistic world surrounding her.

He had paid the deposit for a car he wanted the daughter to have when he was visiting her in Melbourne, and later found out that she had gone to the dealer and refunded the deposit.

She said she was happy with whatever she was currently driving and didn't need her dad to go through all that trouble of buying her a new car. The new car she was supposed to receive was a VW Golf GTi.

Yup, the current Golf GTi. She turned it down. The dad then paid a deposit for the new SLK, and guess what the daughter did. Yup, she refunded that one as well. The gentleman next to me was impressed and asked,

"That's amazing. My son would never have done that! He'd probably ask me to buy a better car instead!"

We all laughed. The father just smiled and said that his daughter is special in that way. If the whole world acted the way she did, I think greed would never have been an issue.

There are heroes all around us. Some are just more prominent then the rest. You don't need a bold red cape to prove that you've got a good heart.

I have a friend who would gladly give up her last ten ringgit note to a poor lady by the roadside and eat nothing for the rest of the day. "She needs it more than me. I can still eat tomorrow right?" Is her casual response as she cracks an honest smile.

I know of another friend who gave up a week's worth of work to help out with the tsunami relief effort. He consequently lost his job, and as life and fate would have it found a much better one a few months later.

I'm blessed to be surrounded by truly great friends. I may not have a hundred friends, but the ones that I have are definately worth a hundred laughs, a hundred tears and a hundred..ringgit. Haha..just kidding guys. I'm so thankful to have all of you around...from the 'eh how to decline..?' to the 'ooo i love maya karin' and the 'eh u think police going to tahan me ah if i wear sexy'..lines.

You guys are amazing. I'm sorry if i've never said it before, but i love every single one of you to bits and pieces. From Johor, Brunei,Singapore,Birmingham,Kenya, Perth and Melbourne..you're all wonderful individuals.

But the biggest thank you goes to one very special friend who has gone through hell and high water to make me laugh, smile and tear all at the same time. She's the one who got me through Singapore (through the bats and the weird Tiger), helped me to realise what love really is and how hard i should fight for it, and never, not once complained whenever I had needed a shoulder to cry on. You know who you are babes and i honestly wouldn't know where I'd be without you. You're a shining star with big dreams, just believe in them hard enough and they'll definately come true.

The human spirit isn't rational. It isn't even sensible. It is about being honest and truthful to yourself and to those around you. Don't take a rational step forward. Just leap with your eyes closed and do the right thing. Do as much good as you can, whilst you still can. While you're at it, have a merry weekend and enjoy the shopping spree that is the Year End Malaysian Sale. Don't forget to buy me gifts too.

:)

Tell me a story, morning glory.

2005-12-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

As the year draws to another magnificent close and the spirit of 'giving' looms ever so nearly, I can't help but sit back and wonder how- if i was given a chance, I would've done things differently in retrospect. Honestly, I wouldn't change a single thing.

In the span of a year i have..

Changed. That much i'm sure. I've rekindled friends of old, reminisced over old tales of woe and joy and made many new ones along the way. I've looked back at old videos and laughed just as hard as i did back then. We sure had our fun then; and we're still having them now.

Tonight i've laughed harder than i've ever had this whole month - about something as trivial as an overgrowned, weedy moustache. I bellowed and hee-hawed for a whole 2 minutes. My chest physically hurt, and my tummy was doing a trapeze act whilst I was cramping up. It was, as a friend called it - absolutely Mundrum.

It might not be the super group of old, but it was still just as ebulliant. We've all grown up boys and girls. I've lost my 'jambang' (which i had for a whole month in 2002..what was i thinking.) my boyish and dreamy outlook on life and relationships and gained a lot of new life experiences and memories.

They say that older generations were built much tougher. Unfortunately and vehemently so, I must say that I, concur. When I was in Singapore, we had this tiny, arrogant little errant bat which, despite our extremely valiant effort(s) at dismissing it out the window, decided that it had much bigger balls than all of us combined. For every inch we crawled forward it did absolutely fuck all. There were at least 8 people in that apartment alone, and none of us had the courage to physically force it out of the room. I was one of the eight.

It took agent "double-oh-seventy" (my friend's grandmom) to shoo that dastardly bat out. She was amazing..it's like watching ballet, only with broom sticks and some kain buruks stuck at the tip for good measure. To top it all off, she looked like she enjoyed every single minute of it too. I on the other hand, was just finding crevices to hide myself into. A friend of mine, who also happens to be very 'fond' of bats, was just as 'ecstatic'. She hid under the couch, while I..umm..sat on it. But at least (according to her) she had a valid excuse.

"Hey, I'm a girl. What's your excuse?"

I honestly didn't know what to say. Lol. I guess we're just not built in the same way our grandparents were.

"Hello, I'm not Batman okay. Tigers I can fight laa.." Was my pithy response. She was NOT impressed. Sorry babes, next time I don my batsuit we go cari-cari bats okay?

I have surmised then, that older people are made from Perwaja Steel (pun intended). If bravery was a commodity, they'd be billionaires. We've become so detached from reality and so attached to 'city-life' that we've forgotten how to handle minute things like 'chasing bats, rats and cats' out of our houses. How many of you actually know how to 'panjat pokok' anyways? I was told that a caddy was chased by a warthog recently, and because he knew just as much about scaling a tree vertically as he did planting one, he ended up on top of a buggy, whilst that warthog pounded on the hapless little vehicle repeatedly.

So people, learn from his mistake. The next time you see a warthog..DRIVE that buggy laaa. No Mundrum lah lu beb. Hoho.

Having a year's experience under my belt doesn't make me a better person per se. It just makes me a year older, with a year's worth of stories to bore my grandchildren with. I'm sure they'd love to hear how my friend wanted to 'burn someone's Moustache', or how my friend got 'stuck in between my gate'. By then I'd be the one who's 'built tougher'. They'd look up to me with childish abandon, with gaped mouthes and sleepy eyes; angry at their parents for being forced to listen to my 'grandfadder' stories. At least by then i'll be able to smirk and say,

"Huh. Kids these days. Apa tahu?"

:)

A tribute.

2005-12-02T22:29:00.000+08:00

To those of you who knew the band that was, I'm pretty sure you've heard our songs. For those of you that didn't get a chance to listen to any of our songs, we don't blame you. We weren't exactly anything more than a bedroom bedlam band. Here's a short tribute video to the band that, for all intents and purposes had so much energy, emotion and creativity.

I barely see these people anymore..and it saddens me on so many levels.

So here's a lonely, singular toast to downsyn3. The band that made every evening a musical one. I still have that bongo guys.

Unreleased Downsyn3 Video.

Old Friends.

2005-11-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

Met an old friend yesterday at alexis. Will fill the story later. Photos first.

The many faces of mmm...Zull...

Suraya, an old friend of mine. It's good to catch up. :)

Now this is how you do the "juling". Put your finger up to your nose and then..

Naem. Special just for you buddy. A day earlier instead of the lunch at Alexis one.

And me.

Some extra photos from Singapore.

2005: The funnies.

2005-11-28T14:42:00.000+08:00

Some of the best moments of 2005.

Lop getting squeezed by my gate. The sensor broke and it slammed his body. For 3 whole minutes he was writhing around like a monkey on ecstasy. Apparently he was trying to reach the bell. After the funnies ended, we thought he was going to go King Kong on us (me and Naem). Nope, he did no such thing. He dusted himself, and walked straight in.He thought my maid wanted to "save on electricity" by opening such a small entry point. Well, no points for getting stuck! Haha.

Sheridan putting his hands into Naem's shorts and 'squeezing'. Apparently he wanted to 'reach' for some 'dickuments'. I'm sure Sherry. We all know you're 'straight'.

Lop losing his 'sillhouettes'. He wound the passenger window of my car to see if i had a flat as we were on the highway. He said "FUCK!" and I obviously thought we had a flat, until he turned to me and i realised his glasses had flew out the window. He subsequently told us to stop in the middle of the highway as he searched for his tiny, tiny glasses. We obviously laughed our balls off and didn't give him any form of assistance.

Naem asking a toll both guy's number. "Bang, mintak nombor bang!" said Naem whilst Sherry was driving. We seriously freaked the guy out, and Sherry definately held that tolldude's hand a little longer than he should've. Muaha.

Khalid asking the McDonald's drivethrough dude for a Big Mac like a big baby. "SAYA NAK SATU BIG MAC!!" really loudly. Muaha. That was funny.

Me putting my touch n go card on a ticket machine at subang parade. I was obviously embarrased, though not as stupidly as my co driver. He said, "WOI, turn back wei!! KO BUAT MALU AKU JE WEI." I looked at him and said, "Hello, I just press this button and the ticket comes out. Ape buat malu kau nyer?" Wanna guess who that co-driver was? Yup. Sheridan again. Muehehe.

Sherry Razi shouting, "Sanaaaaaauauaua" as she pointed me the direction. It did not i repeat did not sound human. Muahaaha.

Lop saying ON video no less that his electric seat on the BMW X5 DECLINES. Not recline. But, DECLINE. "Wei how to DECLINE this seat?"he asked. I laughed like an arse and told him that it's recline. He replied, "Yeah i know how to recline, but how to DECLINE?" BODOH! Muahahahahha.

Any more moments you care to share with us? I'll be glad to put it up here for the world to see.

Cheers. :)

A typical day in Singapore

2005-11-28T09:23:00.000+08:00

So, Singapore. The Island of expensive parking spots, ERP congestion charges, HDB flats and weather so humid i almost contemplated going around naked. I must say that Singapore's grass is definately much greener; and no I'm not being sarcastic. It really is greener. The traffic doesn't get congested easily and i went around and around the Island (since Mira got me lost) in less than an hour. The city stretches ad infinitum. There seems to be a never ending row of skyscrapers, especially as you drive by their numerous highways.

Yet, I have to admit that Singapore (as an island) is fortunate to be surrounded by bodies of water. It makes the whole daunting task of being surrounded by gargantuan office blocks just that little less freaky.

However, the heat is real and even the body of water actually contributes to the impossibly high humidity level.

Though I must say that the view was soothing. You catch slow tugboats and tourboats chug-chugging along the river as you sip your ice cold glass of whatever it is you happen to be drinking. I know I had a great time having those long breadsticks waiting for the time to pass. Oh, the photos above and below were taken at the Fullerton hotel, which to me at least, is a hotel which is quite simply, epic.

Driving around the island as the sun sets in the evening is simply sublime. As the cyan coloured sky gradually tints itself to an amber glow it radiates against the structures around it creating a soft sheen of light which permeates around the whole city.

Well, it may look like I was the only one who was in Singapore. Oh, far from it. I was accompanied by two lovely young ladies who made my stay in Singapore that much more interesting. We had a few cameos from old and new friends, but these two ladies were the ones who followed me to Singapore and back. Here they are looking for someplace to eat at the Fullerton:

And here's Mira looking frustrated. She's pissed that we can't find a place to eat.

Here's me and Am. We haven't each other in a year and a half, but the way we still kicked it off like we were still neighbours boggles the mind. We had a great time laughing yeah? Gonna miss you loads babes. Have a good one back home.

On mount Faber the floor lights shimmered eerily in the night sky. We took a few photos and here's how they turned out:

Here's our excellent GPS system in Singapore. Mira's uncle (as in her father's brother, not uncle as in..HOI uncle what you doing..). Thanks Imran for bringing us around town and to the night safari. I'm pretty sure we'd be hopelessly lost without you to guide our collective arses that saturday. Oh and you directing that Bus was funny too. Hahaha.

And here's me on Mount Faber, trying to fly.

And LAST but DEFINATELY not least, here's a picture for my good friend SHERIDAN SULIK. Stay Gay Bro!

Muahahahahaha.... :)

Cheers everyone. And for all of you in Singapore who made my trip that much more interesting thank you so much. A big thank you goes to Mira's mom, and Mummy (Mira's gramma) who gave us a place to stay and food to eat every morning. I am truly humbled by their hospitality. It would never have been the same had i decided to shack up at some swank hotel.

There you have it. More photos will be posted later during the day, but this is tentatively the finished post...so until the next trip, i bid you adieu and goodbye. Have a great Sunday.

A Politically In-correct Topic.

2005-11-22T23:53:00.000+08:00

A few comments some friends of mine made about relationships recently, obviously paraphrased to 'protect' their identities, it's funny how different people have wildly different comments...here they all are in no particular order whatsoever:-

"I really can't just jump into things, I really need to know her. If it takes a year, it takes a year. I don't make uncalculated guesses. I don't run a race i can't win."- Male, age 23.

"Take it sloooww. Only fools rush in." - Female, age 23.

"I don't believe in boundaries. She could be a thousand miles away, but there's always skype or video chat. It doesn't make the relationship any less real." - Male, age 23.

"I got married for all the wrong reasons. We eventually broke up for the right ones." - Male, age 31.

"Just because he led himself on doesn't make me a bad person. I can't force myself to fall in love. He obviously thinks i'm evil." - Female, age 22.

"I'm a punani. But sometimes being a punani isn't so bad. I get to appreciate all her little nuances and her idiosyncratic routines. We grow together." - Male, age 25

"Haven't you heard? I'm single. (Yeah right.)" - Female, age 18 (soon)

"Should i go back to him? He's like my benchmark, I've really tried to like other people, but no one ever comes close." - Female, age 22.

"He is really sweet. He waited for me." - Female, age 22.

"You should've stayed single in your university days. Then you'd have had lots of fun." - Female, age 23.

"I don't understand him, don't think i ever will, and honestly just really can't be bothered anymore." - Female, age 22.

"I'm single. No wait I'm not. Yep I am. No wait..I really don't know." - Male, age 23.

"I met her in the most unlikely of circumstances. She's like an angel to me. I don't see her all the time, but she really makes me happy." - Male, age 23.

"I love him, but i just don't know what the future holds for us. Religion, family..it's all just a little too much for me." - Female, age 20.

"Do you think falling in love with someone who works in office is alright? He's not making any moves you know. I think I'm attracted to him." - Female, age 23.

"How much more do I have to do. He's around today and goes missing for weeks on end. That's it, i'm not calling him anymore." - Female, age 24.

"I just can't find the right guy with the right amount of substance. Probably my expectations are unreasonable." - Female, age 23.

"I'm getting married." - Male, age 23.

Cheers.

:)

(that last one freaked me out too. and no it's not me.)

A typical day in Kuala Lumpur

2005-11-20T16:05:00.000+08:00

You know how it is in KL. No matter what time you wake up, the sun will always be there to greet you. The traffic will always be at a standstill and the heat is always present. You mandi, gosok gigi and spray your perfume before you leave for work, lunch or date..and not 10 minutes after you walk through that door of yours, you're sweating like a pig in a blanket.

I love Kuala Lumpur. In spite of the heat stroke inducing climate, KL does have its charms. On a good sunny day take a drive around town and see what's going on around you. Bring a camera and snap those stills. I know I did, and the first thing I saw as I got into KL was this.

Pah. Typical KL traffic. If it's not congested then there's definately something wrong. Usually people get extremely edgy during bumper to bumper crawls, but I for one wasn't even bothered. I was snap-snapping away at people and cars. I was taking the horrid traffic with an alacrity that was not only refreshing, it was enlightening. For a while-lah.

I moved all of ten feet for the next 20 minutes. So did the car in front of me.

I started to get a little bit edgy. About 10 cars in front of me was a Lamborghini Gallardo huffing and puffing in the heat. He too, must be swearing under his breath. What on earth is causing this standstill? I took a glance through my lenses and caught the perpetrator in the act.

That policeman was blocking the road. Contraflow lah katakan.

Malaysia is fond of contraflows. They do contraflows on highways, byways, laybys and kaki lima walkways. Take a look at this..

Yup. KL-lites need to be told where to WALK even. Pah, we Malaysians know how and where to walk-lah! And that is anything against traffic, not using the overhead bridges, against traffic signals and whilst reading a newspaper. Malaysian what.

At least I had a good short lunch after I wrenched myself out of that horrible jam and finally picked Teta and Mira up. We laughed, ate a little too much (well me at least) and nitpicked at the manager's weird orange shoes.

We obviously took photos too, and Mira now with some adept photography skills took some shots of her own. Like the ones below.

Not bad for a beginner. She was manually adjusting the shutter, aperture..the lot. Okay i'm kidding, but at least she tried to get the vanishing point correct! She was happily snapping away until I decided that it was my turn to snap their photos too.
Posing katakan.

Yeap, you guys definately look good together. :) They posed for a little while more until i told them that i wanted to take some shots of them being natural. It wasn't easy cause everytime i pointed a camera at one of them, they stiffened up or smiled a little bit too much. It took a while until I snapped this:

Could've been sharper, but the ambient lights weren't much of a help and the sun was out. So i decided to point the camera to a place with a little bit more light and let the camera do its work...like so:

He was really banging that dough like his life depended on it. The pizza must've tasted great.

So that was a typical day in Kuala Lumpur. Traffic, quick bites in between and a lot of smiles.

I also had a smashing time the night before at Lynn's open house. The food was epic. Nizam had 4 helpings of nasi, mee and everything in between. The cake Lynn baked was self indulgingly decadent, the girls loved it. Nad had 3 mouthfuls, and i must say they were pretty big mouthfuls, because even I couldn't finish the cake. Here's me after a Bantai-ed the super rendang and a couple of chicken breastices.

Here's the host with the toast of the night; Nizam who quite clearly took top trumps for having the best appetite over a short period of time.

Me and the lovely Lynn. Babes, what pose is that? Hehe. Thanks for the excellent food, if only I could've whacked more food!

And the other two stars of the night, the demure and divine Amirah and Nadira.

Yes ladies and gentleman, that is how i show my affection. By acting all premature and WWE like. But it was a good night, shame it couldn't have lasted longer. The girls had to go home and I, being the responsible and designated older driver, had to drive them both back home.

All in all, a good,good weekend.

I love this place, and no country, state, city in the world could replace it.

Malay/Chinese/Indian...Other?

2005-11-18T10:24:00.000+08:00

An excerpt taken from the multi award winning movie 'Sepet'

"Not all Malays are lazy and not all Chinese are cheats you know." said Jason's best friend who is Chinese.

"Ah, see that's where you're wrong. All Malays, are lazy." replied Orked, the Malay girl.

The reason i'm bringing this up is twofold. First is because I just bought the DVD version of Sepet signed by Yasmin Ahmad herself/himself and because the sequel is just around the corner and the other is because I wanted to highlight how racism effects our individual thought processes on how we view the world around us.

I'm not going to delve into the intricacies of race relations; primarily because I did a thesis on it for my final year and would not care to repeat it again but also because a public forum isn't a place to tackle an issue of this magnitude.

I'm just going to graze the surface of the subject, in hopes that we would all be better people over time.

Honestly, we have to admit that we are quite fortunate to be here today, in this century. While bigotry and racism still exists, the perennial difficulties often associated with such an animosity isn't as apparent as it was say 30 years ago. Today we see kids with wildly differing facial features. Who's to say if he/she is even Malay..Kiwi..Mat Salleh..Nepalese.

Just take a stroll around your regular mall. I'll bet you that 3 out of 10 people that pass you by are eithered mixed beyond recognition or pan asian enough to be neither white, black or yellow. Turn on your television if you don't believe me. If you ain't pan asian you ain't malaysian. Every other new 'hot' product is represented by some Mat Salleh celup.

Well i'd rather have these celups than a bucketful of Mawi's. That guy is just getting on my nerves and I don't even watch AF (Akademi Fantasia..a crappy reality tv show.) Yet, that's the reality. Either you're Mawi or Sawwi. Okay i'm just kidding (sorry Proton but that car is crappy too).

So Pan Asians dominate the social stratas of not only Television, they've gone to ad prints, Tatlers, Taxis, Buses, Air Asia planes and at one point I even saw a pan asian on the toilet of an R&R i went to. Jamban pon ada muka pan asian.

See, I have no qualms against Pan Asians. You people are way more putih than most of us and Yes you are very pleasing to my eyeballs, but what i find intriguing is how you Pan Asians could still find distinctions between races. Hello, if you're born half Mat Salleh and Half Malay, you'd be Half and Half. You'd be neither race more than the other. So don't pretend to speak with a Slang when you're around Malaysians, and don't lah speak Pasar Malay when you're with you're Mat Salleh friends. Tunggang terbalik lah bang. Get your facts straight.

Another problem is when you start to choose sides. "Oh, Malays are so fucking lazy."

Big mistake Mat Salleh man. We then start to see you as the second coming of JWW Birch and we'll go all JWW Marriot on you, with the full buffet set shite.

Just be happy that you look like a Magnum bar laa. Mat salleh on the inside but brown like the rest of us on the outside.

Edit:This just in, I got wind from a good friend of mine that some people are actually doing Plastic Surgery on their god given faces to make them look more Pan Asian. I mean how fucked up is that. Observe exhibit A below:

(Kudos to Kennysia for providing the photos and outlining the macabre world of Pan Asian obsession with this grade A example of a girl named Dawn Yang)

Don't ever make distinctions between races. We're all the same anyways. Don't point out another race's weakness either, it just goes to show how weak you are as an individual. I'm not racist against pan asians or girls with mixed parental heritage, it's just that we should all be proud to be what we are. Enjoy everybody's company, and date around the circle not ALONG it.

Then we'll get to see some pan asian kiddos of off you lot.

Just don't put em on tv.

:)

Our First Day: Tennis

2005-11-14T11:39:00.000+08:00

Sweat. Dirt. Dust. Torn Shoes. That's what happens when you try your very very darndest. Lol.
First casualty of the day goes to..my shoes. Which according to our resident photographer extraordinare is way past it's life span already.
Haih. Time to fork out another 3oo bucks for a pair of shoes which lasts another 3 years. But all in all a hundred a year ain't half bad though.

Anyhoo, we decided to play anyways. More ball catching for me actually. Love the sound of ball hitting that stringy thing round the racket. Lol. Thwarp! Smack! Bang!

Tippy toes.

Come on..come on..come on.

Too high..too low.

I had a fairy tale moment when, at one point in one of the photos above..i tippy toed in the air. Yes, i hear most of you sigh..how unbecoming of me. Well, let's not embarass me alone here..there were obviously others.. :)

Lynn was the only one who didn't knock the ball OUT of the court.

Serve here in the middle not to the right..!

Let me show you what I'm made of. Tengok spin aku!

Makcik..tolong ambik bola tu. Thanks!

He took his shoes off and still managed to beat the crap outta us.

The man with the badminton plan. Nizam, Naem's brother smiling at the way his younger sibling served the ball.

Raya..Raya Sakan.

2005-11-13T14:21:00.000+08:00

The first year of experiencing the full tilt of Raya Sakan was for me at least, an event i will never forget. Though i must say that the whole ride was a blur to me. 5 houses in less than 5 hours. Forty five different food choices (20 of those being from one house alone..) a myriad of colourful kebayas and baju kurungs and baju melayus...and a smattering of joy juices being brandished about; ginger sirap, sirap hijau, sirap this, sirap that...amazing.

Everything was fast paced.

Well everything but your weight, ur pants and for some of us...shirts of course.

For today's bloggy, i've decided to do a little tale. A moving picture story if you may of the events of yesterday.

I'm hungry and if you don't give me food soon, I'll eat your pants.

A little bit too much food here? :)

Yup, I made them all..the cookies..the mee...the...

Oh dear, these open houses aren't doing any favours for my back..

Is your number still the same..do you even have my number? - damn, and i thought i could've gotten away with that.

Ooooh it's Alex Yoong..reverse..REVERSE!

Fine if there's kuey teow in the next house we'll go..I'll eat. And there was, and I ate. Alot. Demit. That goofy grin of mine was gone in a heartbeat after the amount of food i whacked.

We're fucking camera whores. Open house orang pon boleh Posing. Muahahaha..

Dude..let's do a Bugsy vs Scarface photo. Man, this is the attire people wear during Raya these days....like Halloween pon ada.

She's my classmate, i've known her for ages..and i had to eat Laksa...

Would Sir like to retire by the pool or by the villa? Yes, Sir is spoiled for choice..(Disclaimer: this is one of the houses we visited, no joke)

Which car would Sir choose for the dinner? The Porsche? Splendid choice, Sir.

And with that, I bid you adieu and goodbye. Till the next time we have whirlwind open houses and too much food to eat. :)

Permanently Perturbed Players.

2005-11-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

The art of video game playing is not only anti social, it's downright nerd central.

Unfortunately, games these days have not only bridged the gap between the social and the virtual, it also created a new group of chronically addicted players in its wired wake. I know of at least three freaked out gamers who can't get their fix of video games.

Especially multiplayer ones.

Haih, we're not Magneto, Iceman or even the game creators in our real lives. Lol. Fortunately, I understand why the trend for hardcore gaming has taken a sharp turn for the worse in recent years. It's because games have become alot less nerdy and alot more engrossing. You can become anything from a worn out army infantry in World War II (Medal Of Honor series), James Bond in From Russia With Love, crashing your Murcielago against a brand spanking new F430 in PGR 3, knowing Kungfu in Matrix: The Path of Neo and even at one point, become Hugh Hefner in the Playboy Mansion.

You could be anything and anyone, anywhere. Just give your girlfriends a call once in a while to see if she's alive though. She'll flip if you don't. Remember, no matter how hot that girl is in NFS: Most Wanted may be, she's still composed of Polygons boys.

Just don't forget to hang out with your REAL friends after you're done and you should be alright. Snap that ethernet cable off of your Xbox, PS2 or PC and have a warm glass of teh tarek in a REAL mamak stall. Not a virtual one. Like the ones they have in the Sims 2.

Alrighty then bloggizens. I'm off to play PGR3. Macca F1...Murcielago GTR....F430 Challenge....drool.

:P

For those petrol headed gamers go to this website and click on PGR3 and sit back, relax and be BLOWN out of your minds. It looks fucking real.

Gametrailers

Selamat Hari Raya!

2005-11-04T15:40:00.000+08:00

Oh the smell of duit raya in the air. Actually it's the smell of OUTGOING duit raya. For the first time in my life, i ended up on the giving side and with all honesty, i must say it wasn't so bad. I had a great time yesterday, definately the best raya so far and probably the most fulfilling. Thanks again to those of you who took the time to spend Raya at my place. Meant a lot to me.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA and MAAF ZAHIR BATIN dari saya Adlin Yusman Yusoff di Lete Abstrait.
Ampun maaf dipinta. Kosong-kosong right? :)

Pemuda bersalaman di pagi raya.

Our resident photographer, Mr Naem giving his regular Zoolander pose.

Memorial service punya poster boy. Hahaa.

The prettiest girl in the whole world - My niece.

Sayu di pagi raya. Mom hugging my brother. Touching moment.

Mr Ezar smiling wide after having a short stint at X-men.

My sister and her dashing young boy, Harith.

Special request by Sherryberry Tenggiri. Cheers mate, wish you were here. :)

And last but not least, me.

Thanks again everyone. And enjoy the festivities! :)

Semoga tahun ini membawa berkat kepada kita semua. Moga-moga ibadah kita diterima, Insyallah.

Dengan Tulus Ikhlas,
Adlin Yusman Yusoff

A life less ordinary

2005-11-02T05:33:00.000+08:00

Strangely, last night was good. Had a good buka with a bunch of old friends and a lovely lady. The birthday party later on wasn't too bad either; met a friend i haven't seen since high school, another i had met recently at a gym and bumped into him whilst i was grabbing something from the car; and as the night came to a close and I turned my keyfob 'off' and locked my car, my thoughts wandered as i realized how my life wasn't as clear cut as it used to be anymore.

Oh well, living a life less ordinary is better than living a life too ordinary. I've done mundane. I've worn pleats, checks, corduroy and suede. Lol.

Never done something like this though.

Got pictures of last night. It'll be up after the sun is up. And I'm up obviously.

Cheerio.

Sorry officer, I honestly thought she was...

2005-10-27T00:30:00.000+08:00

Tonight I surprised even my own self.

During dinner, the daughter of the restaurant owner (who I must say went all out of her way to accommodate us) caught my attention. I can honestly say that I think she’s extremely alluring if nothing else.

She was well mannered, had impeccable spoken English and even though it was Buka time and we came late, she was still friendly enough to bring us our food with little or no complaints.

On the way out, a friend asked what her name was and what she was currently doing.

She said she was a student.

I honestly thought she was 20 at the least.

Nope. Ladies and gentleman…this girl…she was still in high school.

Crap. Not again.

I’m definitely not going down that route again. Nope nope nope.

Everybody laughed.

Hawhawhaw.

You

2005-10-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

Friends, it is always good to know that when you’re down and out we’ll still have each other to fall back on. Yet its fair to assume that even the best fall down sometimes. Even the wrong words seem to rhyme.

You tell yourself that it’s easy to get someone off your mind. You wake every morning to the sound of birds chirping merrily by your windowsill. You go to work, you go to school, you have your chats and your calls. You trundle along with the world around you, fast paced; with little or no regard for one another.

You tell yourself that you have a fair advantage on who you should choose to stand by you in your pursuit of material, physical and emotional wealth. You drag yourself every time you’re on that linoleum floor. Teeth, bones, skin, tearing itself apart.

You believe that you’ve never been happier. You understand that you can’t choose who you think about. You know silently that age is creeping up on you every single day. You cringe every time you open your mailbox; who’s getting married today you ask yourself.

You feel sad yet no tears are trickling down your chin. You see children laughing happily at your local park. You smile whenever a song plays on the radio.

You find that movies have lost their taste. You shower to clean not just yourself but your conscience and your state of mind. You shop for clothes which you could do without. You eat weird food because you feel that change is an important aspect of growing up.

You want to settle down. You feel that apartments are something that you’re seriously contemplating. You understand how your parents fought so hard to put you where you are today. You miss hearing someone telling you she loves you. You look up and the stars refuse to shine.

You bleed just to see If you’re alive. You drive to nowhere because it’s the only time you’re actually somewhere. You make a first impression. You wonder why money is so centrifugal to everyone’s lives. You search for comedy in the most lackluster of events.

You look for the brighter things in life. You hold on to simple pleasures.

You choose to live.

You choose to love.

You choose who you want to be.

Yet, I somehow find that you and I..collide.

Inspired by Howie Day

Secrets

2005-10-25T15:58:00.000+08:00

I just stumbled upon an online confession booth where everyone sends their postcards anonymously..reciting to the world what their secrets were.

Here are some of the more 'spicy' ones.

Sublime Shayna

2005-10-23T23:12:00.000+08:00

Malaysia definately boleh. Shayna Zaid who was raised in KL for abit before returning back to the States has released some of her tunes online. Her EP should be out be year's end.

Give it a listen. You'll definately be mesmerized. I know I was.

And to those of you who's either heard, known or seen Shayna before, yes it's the same Shayna. So be a true blue/red/white/yellow Malaysian and spread the word.

Oh and don't swoon too much while listening to her songs. I know of a few friends who just simply can't get enough of her music. :)

Shayna Zaid

A message from Shayna

Oh Thanks Eddie! Thank you so much for your kind words, love and support...I appreciate the time you have taken to have a listen to my music! :) I'm glad you enjoy what you hear!
I'm working on finishing up my album and it's coming out better than we expected! I promise I won't let you down! ;)
Thanks again for your support and send me your email address so I can keep you posted on my journey!
Take care and keep in touch!
~Shayna

P/S: Tell Anis and Iskandar i said Hi! :)

Quarter Three 2005

2005-10-21T17:21:00.000+08:00

What you've all been waiting for.

Premier of Quarter Three is just a click away.

Enjoy people.

Cheers.

Picnic

2005-10-21T11:55:00.000+08:00

I wanna go for a picnic. I don't know why.

I've not been on one since i was five. I think now's a good time.

Some nice photographs to pass the time till i decide where to picnic.

Just Don't Wait Too Long

2005-10-15T13:23:00.000+08:00

It wasn't till 6 in the morning did I get to close my eyes and drift off to sleep. It's funny how the mind keeps telling the body that it's still fresh even though every bone in your body is aching for a well deserved break. I just couldn't stop thinking.

I spent half the night listening to an advice given by a stranger from a foreign land. My mind was reeling and bouncing off my fears, tribulations and apprehensions. I kept asking the wrong questions, yet his answers were firm and spot on. Imagine shooting blindly at the sky and still getting some parakeets killed in the process. That's exactly what I went through last night.

I didn't even know I needed his advice, but as the minutes rolled into hours and his role as an advisory adult slowly slithered away into a more calming, relaxed conversationalist, we carelessly folded up our sleeves and started to crack jokes on how stupid we all are when we think with our minds instead of our hearts.

"You think too far ahead Eddie." he said.

He said I should just do what my heart tells me to. Fuck the consequences. Sometimes inaction causes more harm than putting your fist through glass.

"In London, a boyfriend means fuck all." he says as he takes a sip of water.

Like that's such a good thing, I thought to myself. If she's willing to jump boats whenever it fancied her, what makes her any less likely that she's not going to do that to me?

"It's a possibility."

My heart sunk a notch.

But, according to him, that depends so much more on the situation rather than the person. He recited me a tale on how a married couple got divorced because the wife had cheated on her husband, and consequently married that lover of hers later on. Thirty years later, they're still happily married.

It really does depend on the situation. Marriage is a situation. Sometimes people get married for the wrong reasons and only get it right when they divorce on another. Relationships are no different.

People usually end up dating for long periods of time not because they're still insanely in love with one another. Sometimes they just hang on to one another simply because they know of no other way to be individuals again. That is the worst mistake anyone could ever make.

"So, what's your solution then?" I asked him.

"Just do it. The answer isn't important. The first step is." he replied as he opened the front door for me.

"So how do I know when the first step is?" my voice coarse and shaky due to some sleep depravation.

He just smiled and told me that only I can answer that question. As I got into the elevator, he turned to me and said,

"Just don't wait too long."

A Spirited Scripture of a Scintilating Sociopath

2005-10-11T00:36:00.000+08:00

Right. It's past my bedtime and I'm still up listening to some Cafe Del Mar amidst a darkened room, with little or no ambient lighting at all - well aside from my Mac that is.

Tonight I learned a new lesson. I learned that some friendships much like wine, appreciate with age. Age adds a certain colour and flavour to your conversations as you cherish the moments you shared together whilst laughing and tearing over the present. You cough up new ways of telling an old tale, adding bits and pieces you never knew existed as everyone throws their memories into the mix as well. Imagine a bowl of Laksa, without the pointy fish bits and you pretty have a rough idea how jumbled up things can get.

I've lost a few friends along the way, I'm sure we all have. In some weird twist of fate, you do understand that all things happen for a reason, and not all of them beneficial to you at that time. As you grow older, you realise that there are a great many things that we all could've done differently, but given the chance I'm pretty sure we'd end up repeating our mistakes yet again.

We all know that no one is an Island. The gestures and actions that we take affect not only those immediately around you, but in some weird 'butterly effect' kind of way, it ripples across borders, space and time. You tell a friend over Skype that you're in love with this girl and, almost instantaneaously your whole circle of friends start talking about it - by nightfall half the population of Timbuktu's off to find this girl of yours as though she's the next Miss World.

You see, friendships are fragile. They are nothing like relationships. I've been assaulted with Pins, Pens and Penguins during my years of dating and no matter how bruised or bloodied i get, we always kiss and make up. Try throwing things at your friend and we'll see how long it takes for that "restraining order" to take effect.

Be that as it may, when your relationships start to crumble like a house of cards and the penguins aren't as funny as they used be anymore, it's your friends who end up standing there by your side helping you get that pin out of your ear.

We all have our vices, we all have our vestitudes of secrets, but that's what makes friendship so interesting and unintelligebly wonky. You never know how far the line is and even after you've crossed it, chances are you probably had no inkling that you did. It's a true test of friendship if you could turn your back around, walk past that line and say;

"Yeah, I'm human, we all make mistakes. I stabbed you, you stabbed me, it's the same thing."

Oh and I've been Tagged by Hanisah. Haih. Sorry for the late reply dear, didn't realise. :D

so here are the golden rules of weirdness :

#1 write down FIVE (5) weird habits.

#2 pass this baton to 5 other people.

#3 list down their name and blog link.

ok here goes.

weird habit #1

I get goosebumps and start muttering some african mumbo jumbo. Must've come from Maleik.

weird habit #2

I can't get enough of Iced Lemon Tea. Weird.

weird habit #3

I get addicted to things quickly and get bored of them before the day is over. Weirder things have happened...

weird habit #4

I like listening to music before I sleep, yet can't sleep with the music on. What the..?

weird habit #5

I tend to gather a group of friend to start playing a certain game ie, foosball, halo, cafe hopping...and then when someone beats me I get bored halfway through and leave them to fend for themselves. Ezar hates it when i do this to him. hahaha...

So, on to the next five victims

Sheridan

Ezar

Suhana

Matiin

Brian The 6th Power Ranger

I never knew these things about me.

2005-10-07T15:06:00.000+08:00

When I'm bored I am:

If I were to be a hero in a movie I would be:

If I were a nerd I would be:

From Sunrise To Sunset in A Minute.

2005-10-06T15:01:00.000+08:00

Visit this site. It's amazing.

Sunrise Surroundings

As the sun sets on the first day of Ramadhan.

2005-10-05T12:01:00.000+08:00

Muslims the world over celebrate the joy that encapsulates Islam's most holiest month.
It is not Raya that should be celebrated with glee and colourful sarongs and baju melayus alone, Ramadhan should be given equal if not more precedence. So to all my muslim brothers and sisters, may you have a very enlightened and wondrous month. Keep your vigil and faith strong, and enjoy the festivities of the Bazaar Ramadhan's and late night 'teh tariks'.

I'd Have Laid Down My Life For Wotsisname

2005-10-04T11:55:00.000+08:00

An interesting dilemma popped up in my mind a few days ago. Imagine this; you're alone in a courtroom, and your best friend is on the stand fighting for his very life and you have two very distinct options to choose from. Give your friend that shaft and save your own life, or shaft yourself in the jail cell with him for committing perjury on his behalf. Oooh, so many choices, so little time.

On the one hand, society cannot function without honesty, so therefore you know it's right to offer your services to the prosecution. But then again, friendship is supposed to be an unshakeable bond which cannot exist without loyalty. So it is also right that you should keep shtum.

Well, I thought about this long and hard in the shower this morning and I've decided I'd squeal like a baby. Because you know something? Friendship is like a gigantic sand dune, seemingly huge and permanent, but one day you get up and it's gone.

Back in the college days, I spent pretty well every single day with the same group of friends in a stylized cafe across the road. We laughed all the time, we were on a first name basis with the crew, we sang, we drank way too much Iced Lemon Teas and we even had our very own 'Rumble In The Bronx' bar fight. We knew with the sure fire certainty that night would follow day and that we'd be mates for ever.

Had one of them been accused of gouging the waiter's eyes out with a lawnmower, I'd have told the police that I hadn't seen a thing. I would have taken the heat on his/her behalf had push come to shove. Which would have made me feel awfully foolish today because I have no idea where two of those friends are, and for the life of me, I cannot even remember what the other two were called.

How did this happen? Presmuably, when I said goodbye for the last time ever, I really did believe I'd be seeing them again the following weekend. It wasn't like we'd had a row, or that they'd all grown beards or moved to Kathmandu. We just went home and never saw one another again. Last I'd heard, one of us had chosen the holy route and became a Monk.

And this happens all the time. I went through my old dusty address book and there are countless people, friends, muckers, soul mates and former colleagues who I never ever see. Bar Friendster of course.

Here's the problem. What most of us like doing these days, is sitting in a gormless stupor in front of a telly or a good book, munching some pringles or some decadent chocolate bar.

Going out means getting up, getting dressed, arguing about who'll drive and getting your wallet to lighten it's load a wee bit further. Of course it's worse if you let time pass you by, simply because the longer you wait to call on the people you haven't seen in ages, the harder it becomes to find a reason to ring them for. I mean if someone you haven't heard from in ten years suddenly telephones, you know full well that it'll be for one of two reasons. He has gotten married. Or he's getting a divorce.

I suppose it's one of life's little ironies. You know full well you can't live alone, yet for months at a time, that's basically what you end up doing until all of a sudden all hell breaks lose and you lose sleep and food over some late night gatherings at dingy restaurants with bills which are funnier than Harith Iskandar's stand up routines because, when translated into Malay, it generally came to 700 ringgit. You glance over the receipt and your eyes go all white when you realise that an Iced Tea, all on its own costs 25 ringgit. For that money i'd have expected the damn thing to get up and do a song a dance routine. Instead it just sat there, the lemon floating restlessly in what i can only assume is an expensive piece of glass.

I don't care what you think about 'fine dining' restaurants, but these prices are preposterous. Thankfully i've just recently found an enclave where you can dine in comfortable, plush chairs straight out of a Friends set, with teas costing no more than 3 ringgit and meals no more than 15 ringgit a pop. So if you need to bring a friend over, especially those you haven't seen in years..give me a ring. I'll show a place where you can have an epic time for a reasonable amount of money. Then'll we all do the whole "Prisoner's Dilemma" routine together.

The Gym Is A Wondrous Place

2005-10-01T19:38:00.000+08:00

My childhood memories are filled with lacklustre sporting performances at school, way too little involvement in any other extra curriculur activities which focus on anything other than my thumbs and had trophies of Nintendo boxes on my bedroom wall. Yup, I was your garden variety nerd.

In some ways, I have to hand it to Anis for actually forcing me to Gym in Melbourne a few years back. Funnily enough, I think that was my first ever dose of any sporting activity! Well aside from some lazy Badminton, and some pretend Basketballing to hang out with some girls, I pretty much had zero sporting interest. We both had a personal trainer whom we knew was over charging us, but we decided that the opportunity to work out and lose a few dozen pounds was worth more than a couple of hundred bucks a month. At least we'd have saved some money on that dilapidated hospital bed we would've visited more regularly had we decided to skimp on a few bucks and braved the unruly act of lazing about professionally.

So there we were training ourselves three times a week; primarily on cardio with an instructor who was a little too touchy feely for both our tastes. In some ways, I regret that the cardio regiment Ron thought us is as foreign to me today as an Afghanistan militant in a strip joint. I clearly remember the sensation of crawling out of that superheated gym and into the cold winter air outside, wearing nothing but a sweatshirt and a warm pair of tracks to keep us honest.

When I got back home to KL for good, I joined the local gym as a gesture more than anything else. The package consisted of one extremely rude and PMSed girl who knew just as much as I did on Personal Training. She screwed up what I already knew, and added a whole slew of crapped up training procedures which did no favours for my back, or the people who I wanted to impress.

I detested my local gym. I hated going there because I didn't see results, and what little I did see was gone the moment i grabbed a cheeseburger. So, there I was with a cheeseburger on my left hand and what looked to be a brand new gym card on the other. I frequented the gym once maybe twice a month, for a whole year. I didn't know what I needed and even if I did, I sure as hell didn't know how to achieve it.

It took me quite a while to realise that the Gym is so much more than 'weight loss parlour' or 'Malik Noor' centre. I realised that you could meet quite a few new people who are just as enthusiastic about you regardless of the age or gender. I've met quite a few old friends at my local gym and found that we're all pretty much in the same boat. Over worked, under paid and under appreciated. The gym is a place where you could just, quite literally sweat it all out in the confines of those mirrored four walls. It is in some ways the pinnacle of man's narcissistic tendencies, but since society is built on the falsehoods of the slim, slender figures of Esquire and Maxim, where else could you see humanity's best efforts to bend over and kiss the norms of the stereotypical fallacies of our pre ordained, pre structured society?

It's great. Peel away your misconceptions of the gymnasium, and visit one nearest to you. It's not narcissistic if you go there for your own health/personal reasons. The food we eat, the cigarettes we smoke, the music we listen to, heck even the traffic jams we go through on a daily basis, all contribute to our escalating stress level(s).

Today I ventured a little bit further, and tried a new gym. It was strangely familiar, yet still foreign in some aspects as well. But the people...oh the people were just as colourful as the gym I've always gone to. And that's what makes it fun. Seeing new people, new nuances with funky little idiosyncratic routines that simply electrified the air around me. It's amazing.

Plus, I met another old friend while I was taking a tour of the gym. So yeah, even if you don't like the gym, at least stay for the people you might bump into there. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Need to take some time off.

2005-09-29T15:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday evening, I cried.

Not like a baby. No, nothing of that sort. Tears welled up in my eyes and, with my hands shaking profusely..they rolled down my cheeks. Uncontrollably..against my will.

I was on an operating table. And the pain I went through yesterday, isn't something I would care to remember..nor repeat, verbally or otherwise.

One thing i realised through that harrowing ordeal was how important it was to have friends around you when you're going through a painful experience.

Thank you for all the support and kind words you've given me. It was only a minor operation, but your heartfelt wishes were clearly and most definately major.

Sorry if I didn't get to reply or call any of you back, I was probably knocked out due to the pain (since I had no pain killers..) or out for some fresh air last night.
For those of you who knew what operation I went through, you'll get to see the change soon enough, and for those who knew nothing at all, you'll all be strangely surprised.

So there you have it. I have new photos to post, but i think i'll take it easy for a few days, and instead of constantly having photos to share with everyone, i'm going to take the time live the moments in every one of those photos..as much as i possibly can.

Cheers,
Eddie

Nigh on High.

2005-09-25T01:37:00.000+08:00

The credit for this post goes to Matiin, i thought it was interesting and decided to try one out. Lolo.

1. ARE YOU OVER 18?
Some say i look over 35. So yeah, 18 is definately done and over with.

2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR
CELLPHONE?
Lamborghini at Sepang.

3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST
NIGHT?
NO. And looks like tonight as well. Had munchies mcm haram.

4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS
MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP?
Damn, it's only 8.30am...and my stomach is upset.

5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON UR BED?
Pillows, bolster, guitar, a book.

6. EVER TRIED TO SKIP MEAL?
Yeap. Usually i made it up later. So not skip as much as...postponing.

7. GRILLED OR FRIED?
Grilled.

8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE ?
I've tried a smoothie. And YES that makes me unique, because i'm the only one who hates those things.

9. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
it depends. nightime darkness not so much; impending doom darkness..very much so.

10. FAVORITE HANGOUT?
hahaha..i'm so predictable, i'd rather leave this one out.

11. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE
WITHOUT?
loved ones, internet and cars.

12. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF
GIVEN 1 THOUSAND DOLLARS?
Give it away to the needy.

13. FAVORITE SONG WHEN YOU'RE
SLEEPY?
Cafe Del Mar, Gabriel.

14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
God

15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
comme ci, comme ca.

16. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
adlin, eddie, 'd', hoi.

17. WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S MIDDLE
NAME?
don't have one.

18. MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU
WATCHED?
Cold Mountain.

19. IF YOU WERE INVISIBLE FOR A
DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Play tricks on innocent bystanders. "What? I didn't pinch your..." Boof.

20. STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND &
COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
healthy reasons aside, I'd have Malaysian food. It is ONE kind of food...then there's Italian, Japanese....

21. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
The one where the guy splits his cookie in half and the fairy gave him half a sports car in return for his generosity. Lol.

22. IF YOU'LL DIE TOMORROW, WHAT WILL
YOU DO?
tell the people that i love, how much i love them.

23. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE?
the people that i love.

24. YOUR EYE COLOR?
Dark. No idea brown or black.

25. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS
BRING?
Dangerous questions. There be thieves who might want to know this information..

26. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU
WERE A KID?
Superman. What? I was a kid!!

27. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE
CLOCK TURNS 7 AM?
Asleep.

28. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET?
Alphabetical B&W

29. WHO DO U WANT TO MEET?
Maria Sharapova

30. HOW'S LIFE TODAY?
Not too bad. Slow, but all in all, pretty okay day.

The Apprentice has begun..with a twist.

2005-09-24T03:03:00.000+08:00

The new season of Apprentice has begun. While the apprentices will remain the same (16 contestants split into two teams)
the Mentor has changed drastically.

It's no longer Donald Trump. He (along with Mark Burnett) has taken a back seat and has given the reins to another, equally savvy and influential billionaire.

Yeap. I'm just as surprised.

"Family"

2005-09-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.
Thomas Jefferson

Family life is full of major and minor crises -- the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce -- and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It's difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.
Thomas Moore

The Future

The Brother

The Uncle

The Captain and The Steward

The Family

There's no vocabulary
For love within a family, love that's lived in
But not looked at, love within the light of which
All else is seen, the love within which
All other love finds speech.
This love is silent.
T.S. Elliot

Let me tell you a story..

2005-09-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

Ed:I have decided to go off tangent for a while here, and recite a story. This is the first chapter of what i would hope to be an interesting story for all of you here to read. Anyways, enough chatter enjoy the story. :)

Let me tell you a story of an old man who, during the twilight of his years, decided to embark on a wondrous journey across hazardous terrains and beautiful vistas to find not only himself, but also the very ideals on which he has built his entire life on.

The first town he came across, was barricaded with an immense fort-like gate. The walls were high enough to sheathe the rays of the sun during high noon. This is nothing like the village i spent my life in, thought the old man to himself.

Two guards were flanked on each side of the gate. Their uniforms were alien to the old man. There were glitters and precious stones on every crevice he could see. On both their chests emblazoned a triumphant looking eagle, with sapphires as eyes. The sapphires shone magnificently, in spite of the shade. Aside from those gargantuan walls, and macabre obsidian coloured gate, these two lone men were the only obstacle between the harsh desert conditions, and the lush oasis situated within those gated walls.

A line was forming at the gate, as the old man snapped out of his day dream. He counted at least 25 distant travellers.. Foreign languages were being brandished about, the old man could barely understand the conversations that were going on around him, because aside from Arabic which was his native tongue, he could clearly make out another 4 or 5 dialects or distinct languages which were entirely unfamiliar to him.

"Must be a busy place for traders," thought the old man.

The old man looked intently at how the majority of the travellers were shunned away. Some travellers were held behind for a long period of time with the guards asking one question after another, before being told in no uncertain terms that this place was not meant for them. Others had only a moments notice before the gates opened its massive doors before them.

As the sun gently hovered itself further and further into the horizon, the old man was left with only two other strangers. The nearest to the gate was a short man, his clothes dirty and crumpled with rips and tears at every each end. His face was off white, and the old man could clearly tell that he was sick. He was denied entry, for his sickness would spread inside the city walls like a plague. The one directly in front of him was tall, much taller than normal Arab men. His left wrist was bejewelled with the finest stones and encrusted with diamonds the likes of which the old man had only seen on Kings. On his arm was a tattoo of sorts, the wound was still fresh, and it looked like it was engraved with a blunt object. As the old man crept forward to get a closer look, the stranger hastily covered his arm with a piece of cloth, which glistened in the sun, almost silk-like, but much coarser.

"Keep your eyes to yourself Old Fool, if you know what's good for you." scoffed the stranger.

The old man just nodded gently in recognition of the stranger's grave threat.

"You, what is your purpose for coming to this fair city of ours?" interrupted the Guard.

"I have left my old town and place of birth, for i found that place to be dreary, dank, dirty and dilapidated. The townspeople were cheats, liars and robbers. I have heard great things of your city, is it true that i will find a new beginning here?"

The guard paused for a minute, took a deep breath and gave the stranger his answer.

"What you found at your old home will be the same here."

The stranger, shocked and disgusted, stormed off in anger.

"You, Old Man, what is your purpose for coming to this fair city of ours?" asked the guard.

"Well, unlike that stranger before me, my town was beautiful, with a grand view of the mountains, with air so clean that you could taste it in your mouth, and the people there, the people were helpful, honest, loving and trustworthy. I came here to your city, because I wanted to travel the world, and this was the first stop i made after travelling for many, many moons."

The guard stood there, emotionless. He took a deep breath and responded.

"What you found at your old home will be the same here."

The guard lowered his breastplate and signalled for the gates to be opened.

"Come Old Man, let me bring you in. The sun has set, and our duty for the day is over. Let me buy you a warm meal and a cold glass of whatever drink your heart desires. Then you can tell me more about that beautiful village of yours." said the Guard, giving the old man a wry smile.

And with that, the first chapter of the old man's journey..has begun.

End of Chapter One

"The Man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them."

This is pretty amusing.

2005-09-17T13:17:00.000+08:00

If you're bored and have nothing better to do, read this. It's hilarious.

Hit-Me!

Stand Up, It's Our Fight and Right for Freedom.

2005-09-17T10:29:00.000+08:00

We are the future of our country. Open up our eyes. Don't let the rich, the corrupt and the powerful blind our eyes from what's really happening to our fair nation.

Ask the questions to the answers you've been seeking.

Don't let fear stop you from standing up for what you believe is right.

As things stand, consumer surveys already paint a picture of the ordinary rakyat (man in the street) tightening his belt one notch tighter, his brows creased in a worried frown as he ponders how to make ends meet with prices of goods and services seeming to move along a continuous upwards spiral.

Over a billion ringgit is going to be spent on the 9th Wonder of the World, the 'crooked bridge.' Sad to say, billions of ringgit over the years have gone to somebody's pockets, money which could have been wisely spent to hasten the development of our nation. Proper poverty control, a better taxation system, a rebate procurement allotment for veterans or the disabled...etc.

There are billionaires amongst us, but the regular old joes..continue to 'kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang.'

Stand up Malaysians. Don't fight the fights that we can win.

We fight the fights that NEED fighting.

Down and out.

2005-09-16T11:44:00.000+08:00

I'm sick as heck right now. Nothing matters anymore. Feels as though every single ironic event couldn't have happened at a worst time.

It's nice to have your imaginary bubbles burst into flames. Feels just as good as stabbing yourself in the chest and then rolling over just to make sure you hit the spot.

Can't walk, can't talk. Can't hear..won't listen.

What the hell is wrong with me.

I should just quit it now.

Interesting...

2005-09-15T17:14:00.000+08:00

This is interesting, so i thought i'd share it with all of you. Read it all the way to the end. You might find out why certain things are the way 'they are'.

"Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all - babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread! thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there
for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and hence the saying, "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, hence tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or hence "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and ! wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (hence the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

Are you any older?

2005-09-11T10:38:00.000+08:00

Time is an element that not only heals all wounds, it re-opens old ones as well.

Years pass and as you inevitably grow older, your judgement becomes better, your wealth of knowledge is now amass with useless trivia that you constantly bore audiences with, your love list has grown longer and longer and you worry if you'll ever find 'the one', your wrinkles are becoming much more apparent, that hair line of yours ain't getting better and your nieces and nephews are growing taller by the day.

Old sayings are making sense and you keep telling yourself that you will go on that holiday cruise this year. It never happened right?

Remember that most people at the end of their lives don't regret the things that they have done- they regret the things they didn't do. Take a bold stance for once and do something on the spur of the moment.

Go surfing or diving, play paintball, rock-climbing, speed dating, roadtrips...anything and everything that you've always wanted to do, but never had the urgency to do so.

An old friend of mine recently asked me,

"Are you any older?"

I said yeah, of course i am, i'm twenty three. Much older than when i used to know you.

"Have you done all the things you've always wanted to do?"

I said of course not, i'm so busy these days.

"Have you done at least ONE of the things you've always wanted to do?"

I said, No i haven't, and that got me thinking. If i've never done anything i've always wanted to do, when will i ever find the time to do so?

"So how can you be any older if your experiences haven't changed much since the last I saw you?" she grinned.

"You're only older by your age, dear. Not experiences. So you're not older. At least not yet."

And she's bang on cue you know. I'm not any older. So i've taken up her challenge this year to..ahem...amass my 'life' experiences by doing funky new things. I'll never be able to catch up to her, but at least we'll be on the same page.

So people, Are YOU Any Older?

Home

2005-09-09T09:37:00.000+08:00

"I'm sad that I'm leaving. Never come home for too long, you won't want to leave." said a friend.

It's true. Who in their right mind would want to leave their home? A place of comfort and solace where everything you see and touch is of the familiar. A dependency of sorts to the little nuances that define what you perceive as; 'home'.

However, I have always believed that the notion of 'home' is constantly misconstrued. How do you define home anyway?

A house where you and your family grew up in? Your country where you born in? Your dormitory in a foreign land?

They all personify some essence of 'homeliness' at one point or another. Whether you realised it or not, you had to make whatever four walls you've lived in as your home. The question is, do you feel at 'home'?

The typical answer I hear is, "No. How can a place like that be called 'home'. Home is here, in Malaysia. With my friends and family."

I concur. But think a while before you too, agree with me.

The answer given above is, in many ways almost contradictory.

Home is in Malaysia. With my friends and family.

But what if you family and friends happen to be in San Jose? Does that make San Jose your 'home' then?

Yes.

Because the idea of home is rudimentary at best. It quite literally is where the heart, is.

I was just at home in Melbourne as I was in KL. But, I also kept returning to KL, frequently. I had my family and my then girlfriend in KL during my first year over there, and I had to juggle between my two 'homes'. But when my girlfriend came over to join me in Melbourne in my second year, Australia became just as homely as KL.

There were times when i missed KL, but there were also times that i missed Melbourne. Even until today.

I miss my home in Faraday. It may be thousands of miles away, and in no small way did i OWN the place..but i made it my OWN. It was my home, and it was only then did i realise that the idea of home is not absolute. It is relative at best.

So to my friend who's going away soon, don't think of it as going 'away'. Think of it as going 'home'. Because as of next year, that home will no longer be yours to call.

Godspeed to you and to everyone else who's going away to further their studies. And to those of you who are leaving Malaysia for apparent 'greener' pastures in foreign lands, I too wish you the best of luck in your work effort. Remember that Malaysia Boleh...and never ever forget that even if you find your home in a foreign land...Tanah Air kita masih di Malaysia.

The idea of home may be relative, but the idea of us as Malaysians is definately and undeniably....absolute.

An Evening.

2005-09-07T21:12:00.000+08:00

Tapas, Iced lemon Teas and Lots and Lots of Iced Water. Great fun.

A wonderful evening graced by some very lovely ladies.

Mira, Lin, Didi and Fizie.

The "Charmed" Ones. Lovely photo i must say.

"No, not that Tapas...the one with the Sotong...yeah..that one."

Mira and Hafiz

Emi, having a moment of self reflection.

Fizie and me. The names you called me...lol.

"Ooh, sprinkles."

The girls.